
*1 * <• v 4 I 

».| » • 

i .| 

i r i , 

4- 

ji 

' - -W| 4 > •< 


< 

i I ••! 

| 4jt »« 

i-h 

i 1 

■ '" t 


K» ♦' • 

4M <*• 


’ » ' ' • »• 1 

■1 * 

i i 

1 v4 «H 

► ?4« '1 


*^v < • *' ^ i 

* 1 M 


;».-j (j 

rtl j*! 

/ 

<•» .. j i -•« » 

. | * '4 


> f 1 

■ '• * *] 

i 

* > . t t 

*ii *4 

. 

► ’ *4 a 4 

1 *• 1 t 

kB - 5 


1 < * » » 

•4 -4 


l 1 H 

i -i 

i ♦‘A 

-J 

1 ■ #s( 


! * ' * 

ti 

i *< 

- - ‘i » . 1 

4 Si 


1 < 1 

i- -t . 

i ^ 


r 

r v 

\ VI 

i 

'•i «Pt •«! H 

1 19 

V 

■.»!•• 1 

4 ' * •' 

• i. 

W- J 


































r 












. 





WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


















THE SONG OF THE DINOSAURS 

































WONDERS IN 
MONSTERLAND 


< v ■ BY 


yVU. ■ ' 

E. D. CUMING 

AUTHOR OF “IN THE SHADOW OF THE PAGODA 
“WITH THE JUNGLE FOLK” 


WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY 

J. A. SHEPHERD 



NEW YORK 

LONGMANS, GREEN, AND CO. 
LONDON: GEORGE ALLEN 
1902 



Printed by 

Ballantyne, Hanson <5s= Co. 
Edinburgh 


) Z 4 k,J= 

1 a 



«* * 

c < 
c c 


c 

C ( 

€ £ 

< < C 
c ( 


< 4 « 

<<; 
c c 
c c 


c <• < 

<- < c r 

e » * 

c c c C 


C O • € <■ CCt 

(, 6 « c 

o c e e e c 

t t 6 * 

f * c © * € 


C < < 
< 

C ( 


. c C 


c 

< C 
ICC 

< c «- C < 


n # c < f < 




NOTE 


This book is the outcome of the Rev. Henry 
N. Hutchinson s suggestion that the author 
should “ write a book for children , to intro¬ 
duce them to the dead monsters of long ago." 
Care has been exercised to avoid encroach¬ 
ing upon the province of the 'teacher. 






PREFACE 

Science craved speech with youth one day, 
And sought the playground bales to find, 

'They cried , u A JVitch ! ” and ran away, 

Not one dared even look behind. 

» 

'Thought Science , “ /i my face so grim 
'That children recognising it 
Fly like scared birds ? Til just ask him 
To help me in disguising it A 

He was a motley vagrant who 
Pleased with the jingle of his bells, 

And Science saw how children flew 
To hear the tale that Folly tells. 

u Lend meshe said , u that suit you wear , 
That I may speak with children too, 
This cloak of mine creates a scare ; 

In your attire they ll think I’m youA 

• • 

Vll 


PREFACE 


So Folly lent his cap and bells : 

He loved the children , and he knew 
That stories such as Science tells 
Delight the folk she tells them to. 

But Science , when she put them on , 
Found out at once they did not fit , 

“ JVhyf cried she y u did I motley don ? 
I don't resemble you a bit / ” 

“ It's sad," said Folly , u but it's true , 

In motley garb you don't look well; 
Stay ! I'll pretend that I am you, 

I’ll tell the tale you want to tell!" 




Vlll 


CONTENTS 


CHAP. 

I. THE MOA BIRD. 

II. THE SEA-COW AND HIPPARION 

III. HOLLOW-TREE HOUSE. 

IV. THE TIGER. 

V. THE TIGER’S SUPPER-PARTY . 

VI. THE MASTER DON . . ... 

VII. BY TRAIN TO 50,000 YEARS AGO . 

VIII. TOMMY THERIUM AND BRONTOPS 

IX. BRONTOPS AND D1N0 THERIUM . 

X. THE TINJENS FAMILY. 

XI. PHEE AND OH-DON’T-’OP TERYX . 

XII. HORNY HEAD AND CLAY O’SAUR . 

XIII. ICKY ORNIS AND H.R.H. THE SEA SERPENT 

XIV. THE FLYMAN. 

XV. A DINOSAUR’S PARTY. 


PAGE 

I 

25 

43 

61 


77 

95 

111 

125 

141 

155 

171 

189 

207 

225 

241 


IX 












































ILLUSTRATIONS 


A great stag stared at them ( coloured ) . 

To face page 

IO 

“ Quirrrrooo-hup ! ”. 

On page 

14 

The Moa’s expression became pleasanter 

5 ) 

1 7 

The Moa’s song. 

To face page 

\ 

o 

M 

The face came up again. 

>J 55 

28 " 

“ Hipparion is my name” .... 

On page 

35 

One of Hipparion’s tremendous jumps . 

jj 

40 

He came forward grumbling .... 

To face page 

46 7 

Mr. Bates thinking very hard .... 

“ The very next time it happens, I give you a 

On page 

5 i 

month’s warning ”. 

>> 

58 

Mr. Mackie Rodus walked in . 

To face page 

64 v 

The Tiger walking between them . 

On page 

7 i 

He turned McAcus out on the floor 

To face page 

72^ 

“ It’s nae duty o’ mine to ca’ him” . 

>> >> 

74 "" 

Hi shuffled all round the room . . ^ 

On page 

79 

The bones did not give him the least trouble . 
The Tiger got up on pretence of stretching 


82 

himself ....... 

}j 

OO 

v«n 

He waved his fore-leg to mark the time . 

To face page 

90 

“ I am the Master Don !” 

On page 

103 

He took up a cocoanut and thumped his head 

• 


with it ...... 

>5 

107 

Every snore brought down a shower of cocoanuts 

5 ) 

109 

Mr. Mackie Rodus was at the gate. 

A crowd of strange animals swept them 

55 

121 

along ( coloured ). 

To facepage 

122 


xi 



ILLUSTRATIONS 


“ I do all the explaining for the folks down here ” 

On page 

131 

Tommy resting all his weight on their hands . 

55 

135 

Tommy directing Brontops from the banks 

To face page 

140 

He shook hands with his trunk 

Dino, turning his tail towards his friend, set to 

On page 

146 

J 

work to kick him. 

To face page 

146; 

The wind shrieked past them as they fell now 
“ They’re a new sort of creeper,” said Mrs. 

On page 

161 

Tinjens. 

55 

164 

168 1 

The Family seat . . • . 

To face page 

“A Coolness”. 

0 ?i page 

174 

They shook hands with him at once 

55 

1 77 

“ See me run,” said Phee .... 

55 

180 

They found Oh-don’t-’Op Teryx 

55 

184 

Oh-don’t-’Op Teryx gaped .... 

To face page 

192 / 

“ It’s just like a railway tunnel ”... 

55 55 

194 

What the monster was like .... 

On page 

196 

“ I am very delicate ! ”. 

55 

199 

The fight.. 

55 

203 

Clay singing. 

55 

205 

“ I ought to be a bird ”. 

55 

211 

“Hi! Icky!” shouted Clay .... 

55 

215 

“ What can I do for you ? ” . 

55 

217 

The Sea Serpent ...... 

To face page 

220/ 

The Song of a Generous Active Verb 

On page 

230 

“ Can you take them both ? ” . 

“How jolly!” said Walter; “you can see 

55 

235 

such a distance ” ( coloured) 

To face page 

238, 

“ So kind of you to come ! ” . 

55 55 

244 

Lady Megalo arranging her train . 

0 ?i page 

245 

“ Fly for your lives ! ”. 

To face page 

256/ 


Xll 





CHAPTER I 


THE MOA BIRD 








WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


CHAPTER I 


THE MOA BIRD 



ALTER and Jenny had hunted every¬ 


where for that golf-ball—up the path, 
along the hedge, in the ditches 


under the great dock-leaves, and they could 
not find it anywhere; and now they were 
quite tired of the search, and were sitting 
to rest in the shade of the chestnut trees 
on the brow of the hill. It was a very hot 
afternoon : there was not a cloud in the sky, 
and every leaf was still. In the meadow 
below, Farmer Williams’ old cart-horse stood 
in the shade switching his tail and stamping, 
too lazy even to eat. 

“ I don’t care,” said Walter, digging at a 
dandelion with his golf-club; "‘it’s much too 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


hot to play golf or anything else, and I’ve got 
another ball at home.” 

“ It’s a pity it was the new ball,” said Jenny ; 
“you shouldn’t hit so far, Wally.” 

“ That wasn’t far: nothing to the shots I’ve 
made when you haven’t been with me. I tell 
you what, Jen, I wish Mr. Anson had been 
here.” 

“Why?” asked Jenny; “you don’t like Mr. 
Anson to take us walks, because he won’t let 
you climb trees, or wade in the brook without 
taking your boots off, or anything.” 

“ This is different. He is always poking 
about looking for stones and things, and every 
one says he is good at finding things, so he 
might find that ball.” 

“ Perhaps he might,” said Jenny doubtfully. 
She thought of the tutor peering about through 
his spectacles with his hammer in his hand, and 
did not think he would be very quick at find¬ 
ing a golf-ball in long grass. “ I expect that’s 
another sort of finding, Wally.” 

“ I don’t see any difference,” said Walter, 
lying back and tilting his hat over his eyes. 
“ I wonder why Mr. Anson is so fond of 

4 


THE MOA BIRD 

collecting stones: now if it was eggs, a fellow 
could understand it.” 

“ I heard father say Mr. Anson was a very 
clever jollygist,” said Jenny; “but I don’t know 
what that is; do you, Wally?” 

“It means—it means —well, a man who looks 
for stones, and puts labels on them, and keeps 
them in a cupboard with a glass front, is a jolly- 

gist,” said Walter; “ but I don’t see anything 

very jolly about it.” 

“No more do I. When we went to 

Scarborough I collected shells and some lovely 
pebbles; but they were pretty. Mr. Anson’s 

stones are quite ugly things.” 

“ Yet he is a sensible sort of chap in some 
ways,” said Walter kindly ; “ he knows a lot.” 

“He looks wise,” agreed Jenny. 

“ That’s only because he wears specs. If Mr. 
Anson were really and truly wise—like father or 
the Vicar—he wouldn’t say the things he does.” 

“What does he say?” asked Jenny. “Does 
he tell fairy stories? Father tells fairy stories.” 

“ Father doesn’t believe the stories he tells 
us ; Mr. Anson does believe the stories he tells 
me in lesson-time.” 


5 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“But what are they?” persisted Jenny, think¬ 
ing Walter’s lesson-time couldn’t be so dreadful 
if Mr. Anson told stories. 

“Well,” said Walter, sitting up, “ I’ll tell you. 
Look here, Jen ; I’m going to be old Anson, and 
you’re going to be me.” 

“Go on,” said Jenny, folding her hands in her 
lap to pretend she was being taught. 

“You must not, my dear boy,” began Walter, 
in a false voice to imitate Mr. Anson—“ you must 
not suppose that the animals we see around us 
have always been as we see them now. A very 
great many years agoe-” 

“How many?” asked Jenny. 

“ I never discourage intel’gent questions. 
(Don’t giggle, Jen, you silly.) How many years 
agoe is not known exactly, but millions of years 
agoe. In those far-off days”—Walter waved his 
hand towards the opposite hill to show how far 
off they were—“ in those far-off days there were 
great beasts like kangaroos, only so tall, that they 
could look in at your nur-ser-ray windowe.” 

“ I don’t believe that,” said Jenny. 

Walter stopped. 

“ When / interrupt old Anson,” he said, “ I 

6 






THE MOA BIRD 


get pretty well jawed; if yon interrupt me while 
you’re me and I’m old Anson, I’ll jaw you so 
frightfully you’d wish you’d never been born.” 

“ I’m so sorry ; please forgive me,” said Jenny. 

“ The names of these animals,” resumed 
Walter in his false voice, “are derived from the 
Greek, and are soe hard, I will not trubble you 
with them. The oldest animals known to jolly- 
gists are called Dinosaurs-” 

“I thought the names were so hard,” said 
Jenny. 

“ That’s an easy one,” said Walter. “ But 
look here, Jen, if you interrupt again, I won’t 
go on.” 

Jenny said she was sorry, and began to 
make a daisy-chain. Walter objected to this ; 
he wasn’t allowed to make daisy-chains in 
lesson-time, and she mustn’t. 

Jenny thought if she was allowed to make it, 
she should remember that she wasn’t to interrupt. 

“ Perhaps that’s true,” said Walter ; “ it’s worth 
trying anyhow. I’ll stretch a point, as old 
Anson says—I’ll stretch a point.” 

This having been arranged, Walter began 
again— 


7 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“Some of these animals were tremendously 
curious. There were sea-serpents thirty yards 
long, and flying dragons with bodies like lizards 

O J o o 

and bat’s wings. Then there were tremendous 
elephants with four tusks ; and birds nearly 
four yards high, something- like ostriches, only 
they hadn’t any wings ; and other birds like the 
stuffed heron in the hall, only they had teeth in 
their bills, and were as tall as father; and 
there were deer nearly as big as elephants.” 

Walter had grown so much interested in 
these wonderful animals that he forgot he was 
Mr. Anson, and spoke in his own voice; he also 
seemed to forget that he did not believe in them. 
I think myself he did half believe in them. 

“ There were ever so many more creatures— 
snakes, and crocodiles, and things he told me 
about,” said Walter, “only I’ve forgotten a good 
lot of them.” 

“They’re all dead now, aren’t they?” asked 
Jenny a little anxiously. 

“Millions of years ago—the very biggest; 
some were alive hundreds of years ago, but 
they’re all dead now. Do you believe there 

ever were such monsters, Jen?” 

8 



THE MOA BIRD 


“I don’t know,” said Jenny, thinking of the 
dragons and strange creatures in her fairy-tale 
book. How could people have invented such 
things if they never lived? “Anyhow, I’m glad 
they are all dead now,” she went on. “Cows 
are bad enough when you meet them in the lane.” 

“Not if you shout at them and wave your 
arms about,” said Walter, with his manly air. 
“Then the cows are afraid.” 

“ I wonder if it’s by being a jollygist that 
Mr. Anson knows about these old animals?” 
said Jenny, who did not want to talk about cows 
lest Walter should begin teasing. 

o 

“You’ve just guessed it,” said Walter. “He 
said you found out these animals by being a 
jollygist.” 

“ But what have the stones Mr. Anson col¬ 
lects got to do with animals?” asked Jenny. 

Walter munched a stalk of grass while he 
tried to remember how Mr. Anson had ex¬ 
plained it : Jenny tossed away her daisy-chain, 
and lay with her face in the cool grass : the 
afternoon was so hot and still, she was growing 
sleepy. 

“It is like this,” said Walter at last. “You 

9 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


look about in gravel-pits and quarries and places 
like that, and often you find the bones of 
animals that lived thousands of years ago, all 
turned into stone ; and only a jollygist knows 
when stones have been bones.” 

“ Bones—stones. Wonder how they got 

down there?” said Jenny sleepily. 

“ I expect the earth grew up over them,” said 
Walter vaguely. 

• • • • • • 

“ I didn’t remember that the hill was like 
this,” said Jenny, sitting up. “Look at those 
lovely grass stairs going down to the wood 
at the bottom. Let’s run down to the wood, 
Wally.” 

“Come along,” said Walter, getting up; and 
away they ran down the wide grass stairs hand 
in hand. 

The wood was very still and quiet, and the 
children wandered on for a long time without 
seeing anything alive except a great stag with 
spreading horns, which stood and stared at 
them for a moment before it swung round and 
bounded away with a snort of fear. It seemed 

as if nobody ever came into the wood, for there 

io 



A GREAT STAG STARED AT THEM 







































































































THE MCA BIRD 

were no paths, no signs that a wood-cutter ever 
came, and not even a board to say you weren’t 
allowed to go there. 

It was a beautiful wood ; there were such 
numbers of flowers that Jenny’s hands were soon 
full, and she had to ask Walter to carry a great 
bunch that she might pick more. By-and-by 
the trees became smaller and fewer, and pre¬ 
sently the children found themselves in the open 
fields again ; only they were not like the fields 
they knew, for there were no hedges. 

“ I’m getting hungry,” said Walter presently. 
“ Let’s go on till we come to a village, and get 
some buns or something at a shop.” 

They ran on. At length the grass began to 
grow thin and scanty, and before long the 
children found themselves on soft sand, dread¬ 
fully tiring to walk on, because it was so deep 
and got into their boots at every step. 

“ It’s more like wading than walking,” Walter 
said, mopping his face with his handkerchief. 
“I do hope we’ve come the right way. I don’t 
see any sign of a village, or any house at all,” he 
added, shading his eyes to look round. 

“Nothing but sand and palm-trees,” said 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 

Jenny. “Palm-trees are pretty, I think, but 
they don’t give much shade.” 

They plodded along until they came to a 
number of smooth, cream-coloured stones half 
buried in the sand. It was hotter than ever, 
. and still there was no house in sight. 

“I’m tired,” said Jenny; “let’s sit down and 
rest on these stones for a little bit.” 

She was just going to seat herself on one from 
which she had brushed the sand when a loud, 
harsh voice from a clump of palms and bushes 
a little way off shouted, “ Hi you, there! Come 
out of my nest! ” 

It was a huge bird like an ostrich, but twice 
as tall, which stalked out on the sand. 

“ What are you doing tljere ? ” called the bird 
again sharply. “ Leave my eggs alone this 
minute! I don’t want you to hatch them.” 

“These must be it’s great eggs,” said Jenny, 
“and we thought they were stones. What a 
funny mistake! But I suppose we had better 
go away.” 

“All right!” Walter shouted. “We don’t 
want to hatch them ; we’ve got something else 
to do.” 


THE MOA BIRD 


“You were just going to sit,” answered the 
bird; “I saw you with my own eyes! Now, 
where are you going ? ” 

What it meant was, “ Look where you are 
going,” because there were twenty of its eggs 
there, some buried nearly out of sight, and it 
was afraid the children would step on them ; 
but Walter, not understanding, answered, “We 
are looking for a shop where we can buy buns 
for tea.’’ 

“Well, my nest isn’t a shop!” screamed the 
bird; “you don’t want eggs, I suppose, for 
tea ? ” 

“But we do eat eggs,” said Jenny eagerly, 
for she was very hungry; “and I should like 
one very much if-” 

“ Eggs ! ” shrieked the bird. “My eggs!! 
To eat for tea!!! O u i r r r r o o o-hup ! ” It 
flung its head forward, and starting with a lurch, 
raced straight at them with tremendous strides. 

“ Stand still where you are, Jen ! ” said Walter, 
catching her hand. “ She will smash her eggs 
if she tries to get at us.” 

Jenny stood ; it was terrible to wait there 
while the furious bird rushed at them faster than 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


any horse; but Walter was right; she stopped 
suddenly in a cloud of sand, when another stride 
would have taken her right upon them and 
her eggs. 

oo 

“ My eggs ! ” she screamed again; “ you were 



“quirrrrooo-hup !’ ; 


going to eat my eggs for your tea! — carry 
them off from under my very beak, after all 
the trouble I’ve had to lay them and arrange 

14 






THE MOA BIRD 


with the sun to do the hatching-! Ouirrrrooo- 

<T> /V 

hup! ” 

She was in a dreadful passion. She danced 
round and round her nest, kicking up clouds of 
sand and making savage pecks at the children 
as they stood among the eggs. At every peck 
she exclaimed, “Ouirrrroo o-hup ! ” I do not 
know what that word means, but it sounded 
terrible when the bird said it with a snap of 
the beak. 

“I say!” shouted Walter, as one of Mr. 
Anson’s stories occurred to him, “ I think there 
must be a mistake. Are you the Moa?” 

“Yes, I'm the Moa!” bawled the bird; “I’ll 
teach you to meddle with my eggs,” and it 
danced round the nest faster than ever. 

“Now look here,” said Walter, when at last 
she stopped quite tired out and sank down with 
her breast on her toes, “we didn’t know. We 
couldn’t tell that these were your eggs, and you 
can see for yourself that we couldn’t eat one of 
these great things if we had nothing else for 
a week.” 

The Moa cocked her head on one side and 

grinned at him. 

D 


>5 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ I’m too old a bird to be taken in so easily 
as that,” she said. “Next you’ll tell me you 
don’t live in a cave, I suppose ? ” 

“ No, we don’t live in a cave ; so there,” said 
Jenny. 

“And don’t wear skins for clothes?” 

“Certainly not,’’ answered Jenny. “Did you 
ever see a skin like that ? ” she added, holding 
out her frock. 

“Well, come out of my nest anyway,” said 
the Moa sulkily. “At least don’t come out 
any way ; choose your way carefully.” 

“ I never saw such splendid eggs,” said Jenny, 
stepping among them with a great show of 
care. 

“Enormous great things,” said Walter. 

The Moa’s expression became pleasanter 
after these compliments. She stalked round 
the eggs, counted them, said there were none 
missing, and she only hoped none would be 
addled by the fright. 

“I’m sure I hope not, too,” said Jenny; “I 
am so sorry for our mistake. But will you tell 
me why you thought we lived in a cave and 
wore skin clothes ? ” 

16 



THE MOA BIRD 


“ All the humans I ever met do live in caves 
and dress in skins,” said 
the Moa. “ But now I 
look at you carefully, I 
see you’re not like them. 

Tin glad of it, for the 
Cave people are mortal 
enemies of ours.” 

“ Where do the Cave 
people live?” asked 
Walter, thinking some¬ 
thing to eat and drink 
might be got from them. 

“ A very long way off, 
or my eggs wouldn’t be 




THE MOA’S EXPRESSION BECAME PLEASANTER 




















WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


here,” replied the Moa. “And if you don’t 
want to be clubbed on the head, or caught in 
a pit, you’ll keep away from the Cave people. 
Such a life as they lead us, stealing our eggs 
and hunting us about! ” 

“We must have given you a fright,” said 
Jenny. “ However, you gave us one, I can tell 
you.” 

The Moa laughed quite good-humouredly. 
“ I’m glad my husband wasn’t at home,” she 
said. “He would have charged right in among 
the eggs, and kicked you both to death in a 
minute.” 

“ I am so tired,” said Jenny after a time. 

“Shall I sing you to sleep?” asked the Moa 
eagerly. “ I’m a very motherly bird ; a family 
of fifteen or twenty chicks to bring up every 
year makes one motherly, and I feel for you. 
Let me sing you to sleep.” 

“Thanks, it’s very kind of you; but I don’t 
want to sleep. Only to rest a little.” 

“Then you certainly must let me sing to 
you,” said the Moa with a determined air. 
“Come along. The song you want is, ‘The 
Moa and her Chicks.’ It’s a most refreshing- 

^ C> 


THE MOA BIRD 


song ; very lovely, and much admired ; the 
tune has a ripple in it which just matches 
your hair.” 

Jenny and Walter didn’t understand how that 
could be, but she was so anxious they should 
hear the song, that they gave way and followed 
her to the little palm-grove, where they sat in 
the shade and waited for the Moa to begin. 
She sat down too, stretched her neck, and open¬ 
ing her beak, began to make curious noises in 
her throat. 

“ Please don’t sing if you don’t feel quite 
well,” said Jenny politely. 

“ I am in enjoyment of excellent health, I 
thank you,” said the Moa stiffly. “ I was simply 

turning over my notes to find the one I begin 

>> 

on. 

And without more ado she threw back her 
head and began to sing nearly as fast as a 
turkey gobbles. It was all the children could 
do to catch the words-—- 

“ Upon a day some eggs I lay, and leave the sun to hatch 
them, 

And chicks come out so big and stout, I have to run to 
catch them. 





WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


They roam the sand on every hand, those birds of 
dazzling beauty, 

And I stand by, with loving eye, to teach the dears their 
duty. 

They learn to scratch and peck and snatch, and kick like 
any donkey; 

And if a chick grows thin and sick, I dose that little 
monkey. 

You’d feel surprise to see the size a year-old Moa grows to, 

Six feet and more a chick can score—ay, eight feet if 
it chose to. 

In time some boy’s loud amorous noise sounds pleading 
for my daughter, 

1 let her go, with tears of woe, to practise all I’ve taught 
her. 

But it is good if half your brood are spared to go and 
marry, 

Cave-men abound, and we have found what horrid sticks 
they carry. 

The cruel things use stones and slings, and oh, it’s such 
a pang 

To see a chick killed by that stick, the cave-man’s 
boomerang. 

Our legs are thick, and we can kick, and if we are offended, 

Let cave-man fall: well, that is all! that cave-man can’t 
be mended. 


20 



THE MOA’S SONG 






























THE MOA BIRD 


But when bereft, forlorn I’m left, I lay another nestful, 

And sleep and think, and eat and drink, and lead a life 
so restful, 

Until the first new egg shall burst, another and another; 

And I awake to undertake fresh duties as a mother.” 

“That’s all,” said the Moa. “You feel 

rested now, I’m sure.” 

“Thank you very much,” said Jenny, “I 
do feel rested.” 

“ It’s wonderful the effect that song has,” 
said the Moa, shaking her head slowly. “ I’ve 
sung it to creatures when they’ve been so tired 
they couldn’t lift a foot, and four or five verses 
refreshed them so much, they’ve been able to 
get up and run away without waiting for the 
rest! ” 

“ Really /” said Jenny, who would have run 
away from the noise herself if she had not 
been afraid of hurting the bird’s feelings. 

“Fact, I assure you.” 

They all sat silent for a few minutes after this. 
At length Jenny, who was dreadfully thirsty, 
said, “ I wonder if you could tell us where we 
might get a drink of milk ? ” 

“Go and ask the Sea-cow,” said the Moa 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


promptly; “ you are sure to find her grazing 

close to the seashore over yonder.” 

“Thank you,” said Jenny, getting up, “we 
will go and ask her. But we made such a 
mistake over your name, we should like to 
know how to tell the Sea-cow when we see 
her.” 

“ You should tell the Sea-cow in good English, 
and quite politely, that you want some milk, 
please.” 

“No, no,” said Walter. “What my sister 
meant was, ‘ What is the Sea-cow like ? ’ ” 

“The Sea-cow is like —exactly like a man at 
>> 

tea. 

“Like a man at tea! How very funny.” 

“Not at all,” said the Moa; “good-bye to 
you.” 

The children said good-bye to her, and started 
in the direction she pointed out ; but they had 
not gone far when she called to them— 

“ If you don’t see the Sea-cow,” she cried, 
“just shout until the welkin rings. The Sea- 
cow always comes when the welkin rings.” 

“ Who is the welkin?” asked Jenny, much 

puzzled. “I’ve heard of him.” 

22 


THE MOA BIRD 


“ I don’t know,” replied the Moa ; “ but the 
Sea-cow always comes when he rings.” 

They thanked her and walked on. The sand 
was firmer, and a cool breeze had sprung up, 
which made walking pleasant. 

“We had a narrow escape from that bird,” 
said Walter. “She rushed at us just like a 
mad bull.” 

“It was awfully stupid of her to think we 
wanted eggs of that size,” said Jenny; “but I 
say, Wally, what a strange creature the Sea-cow 
must be. Why should it be like a man at tea, 
any more than a man at breakfast or a man at 
dinner. What can be the difference ? ” 

“ It must be a very queer cow if it’s like a 
man at all,” said Walter. 

They plodded on stoutly, though they were 
very tired and hungry. At last they came 
within hearing of the waves, and from the top 
of a gentle rise saw the sea, deep blue, with 
scarcely a ripple on it. They looked up the 
beach and down, but not a living creature 
could they see except the birds overhead. 

“Oh dear,” sighed Jenny, “what can have 
become of the Sea-cow ? ” 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ She couldn’t graze here,” said Walter, look¬ 
ing round; “ there’s nothing but sand all 

round.” 

“Well, now we’re here we may as well try 
and get the milk. Shout, Wally dear.” 


2 4 


CHAPTER II 


THE SEA-COW AND HIPPARION 





CHAPTER II 


THE SEA-COW AND HIPPARION 


W ALTER shouted again and again ; 

and at last an odd-looking head 
peeped out of the water a little 
way from the shore. It was a very strange 
face indeed ; the mouth seemed to be where 
the nose usually comes, and the cheeks were 
working steadily as the creature chewed a 
ribbon of seaweed. The face stared solemnly 
at them for a minute, and sank again. 

“Shout more,” said Jenny; “I’ll shout too.” 
They called their loudest, and the face came 
up again. 

“ I’m sure the welkin rang that time,” it 
said. 

“You are not the Sea-cow!” exclaimed the 
children together. 

“ I’m always called so,” said the creature 
mildly. 


27 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“The Moa said you were exactly like a man 
at tea,” said Walter. “You’re no more like a 
man than a whale is.” 

“ The Manatee is my first cousin two and a 
half times removed,” said the Sea-cow; “and 
he is very like me indeed. I’ll come in closer 
and you’ll see.” 

She came in quite near the beach, and then 
Walter saw their mistake. The Sea-cow was just 
like the strange creature called the Manatee 
which he had seen at the Brighton Aquarium. 

“What can I do for you?” asked the Sea-cow 
kindly. 

“The Moa said you would give us some 
milk,” said Jenny doubtfully. 

“ So 1 will with pleasure if you’ll wade out 
and get it. I can’t come ashore, because I’ve 
got no legs. The whole herd is browsing 
close by, as it’s nearly milking time. The Old 
Milkman of the Sea should come along very 
soon.” 

“Thank you.” said AValter, a good deal dis¬ 
appointed ; “but I think if I did wade out all the 
milk would be lost in the sea, and I haven’t 
got a can or anything.” 


28 



THE FACE CAME UP AGAIN 







































■ 





































































THE SEA-COW AND HIPPARION 


“ I wish I could help you,” said the Sea-cow ; 
“but as you can’t come in to me, and I can’t 
come out to you, I’m afraid I can’t give you 
any milk.” 

“When will the Old Milkman of the Sea 
come?” asked Jenny, hoping they might get a 
drink from him. 

The Sea-cow’s head sank, and in a moment 
popped up again streaming with water. “ He’s 
here now,” it said, “and waiting. Good-bye,” 
and it sank again. 

“Well,” said Jenny, as they watched the rings 
of wavelet spread where the Sea-cow had gone 
down, “that is a regular sell, as father says. 
What are we to do ? ” 

Walter led the way to the crest of the low 
sandbank at the top of the beach and looked 
round. Behind them lay the waste of sand 
with its few palm-trees. On one hand the sand 
rolled away till it seemed to meet the sky ; on 
the other, they could see a wood. 

“ Let’s go to the wood,” he said. “ I don’t 
think it’s the one where we met the Stag ; 
but we might find a brook there, and I am 
awfully thirsty.” 


29 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


Jenny was very thirsty too. She drew her 
arm through Walter’s, and turning their faces 
towards the wood, the two started bravely. 
Never had they seen so lonely a place ; there was 
not a boat on the sea ; on the sand there was 
not a sign that a man had ever walked there. It 
was quite a treat to reach a little patch of thorn- 
bush where a few leafy trees gave shade. 

“These look like fruit-trees,” said Walter; 
“ I’m o^oinor to see if I can’t find something on 
them.” 

“Take care, Wally! The fruit may be poison¬ 
ous, you know,” said Jenny, who was a very 
sensible little girl. 

“ That doesn’t look very poisonous, does it?” 
said Walter triumphantly. “ Look at it; just 
like a little pineapple. It smells good, too.” 

“Perhaps they are pineapple-trees,” sug¬ 
gested Jenny. 

“ I don’t know ; I’m not sure, but I don’t think 
pineapples grow on trees, Jen ; I’m going to 
taste this, anyhow.” 

He took a good bite and said, “ Scrumptious! ” 
holding it out to Jenny, who nibbled it cautiously 
at first, and ended by biting off a big bit. 

30 


THE SEA-COW AND HIPPARION 


“We shan’t be thirsty after this,” said Walter, 
the juice trickling from his mouth as he spoke. 
‘We’d better each take two and go on.” 

He crammed one into each pocket, and Jenny 
carried hers in her frock. They struggled 
through the bushes, and found themselves on 
the edge of a deep valley, with great masses of 
rock at the bottom. 

“ It’s quite foggy on the other side,” said 
Walter. “Shall we go across? We can come 
back if the fog is too thick to go on.” 

Jenny agreed, and they started to scramble 
down the bank, which was steep, and very 
slippery owing to the dryness of the short grass. 
They got tired of slipping, and at last slid and 
tumbled down anyhow. It was great fun, but 
thev lost their fruits, and could not find them 
again among the rocks at the bottom. It was 
very hard work climbing up the other side, 
which was quite as steep and slippery; but 
when they got to the top they were surprised 
to find the sun shining brightly in a clear sky, 
while the side from which they had just come 
was hidden in dense mist. 

“It must have floated right over,” said Walter ; 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“but it’s very funny we didn’t notice it. Perhaps 
it passed while we were rolling down. Let’s 
push through the bushes and see what’s on the 
other side.” 

They forced their way through, getting a good 
many scratches, and came out on a flat meadow 
covered with waving grass ; on the other side 
of the field there was a wood, which looked 
cool and pleasant. They were starting to cross 
the meadow when a snorting noise made them 
stop and look round. 

“Look! there’s—a—pony,” said Jenny, who 
had not got back her breath after the climb up 
the bank. “What a funny little pony it is, 
too. Wally, did you ever see such a rough 
coat, and such an untidy tail ? ” 

The pony, which was feeding just outside the 
wood, looked up from the grass as they came 
near, and blinked his eyes at them. 

“I must go and pat him,” said Jenny; “he 
is a dear little chap, and I’m sure he won’t 
bite.” 

“ Mind he doesn’t kick,” said Walter, who had 
seen one of Farmer Williams’ horses kick the 
cart-man a few days before. 


THE SEA-COW AND HIPPARION 

Jenny walked up to the pony with her hand 
out. 

“ Puss, puss, puss— I mean chick, chick : 
no- 

“ What do you mean ? ” inquired the pony, 
swallowing the grass he was eating. 

“I meant to say 4 tck, tck,’ you know,” said 
Jenny. “ Isn’t that the proper way to speak to 
a horse ? ” 

“ It doesn’t sound very polite,” said the pony ; 
“and anyhow, it’s not the way to speak to me. 
I’m not a horse.” 

“ I should say you were a pony,” said Walter, 
looking him over. 

“You shouldn’t say anything of the kind,” said 
the animal calmly ; “I am not a pony. You 
came to speak to me,” he added to Jenny; 
“what have you to say?” 

“I was only going to pat you,” said Jenny; 
“horses—nice horses—like being patted, and 1 
thought you were a horse.” She felt quite sure 
that the animal was a horse or a pony ; but if 
he said he wasn’t, it was no use insisting. 

“ I see no objection to being patted,” said the 
animal, as if he were granting a great favour, 

33 c 





WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“though it isn’t usual before one has been 
introduced.” 

There was an awkward pause. The pony 
did not seem inclined to introduce himself, and 
there was nobody there to do it for him. 

“ My name is Jenny, and this is my brother 
Walter,” said Jenny presently. She hoped he 
would take the hint and tell them his name, 
but he only bowed gravely, first to her, and 
then to Walter. 

“Please, what is your name?” asked Jenny, 
after another silence. 

“ Hipparion is my name.” 

“ Hipparion,” repeated Jenny, smiling. 

“Quite right. You may pat me now if you 
like.” 

So Jenny patted him. Such clouds of dust 
Hew out of his coat, that she had to stop and 
sneeze. 

“They really ought to rub you down,” said 
Walter, who had patted his neck. 

“You have come many thousands of years 
to see me,” said Hipparion, “and must take 
me as you find me. Besides, why should I 
be rubbed down ? ” 


34 


THE SEA-COW AND HIPPARION 


“ Horses and ponies are always rubbed down,” 
said Walter. 

“Dear, dear, dear!” said Hipparion, looking 
annoyed; “I’ve told you I’m not a horse nor 
a pony. Look here—” he sat down and held 



“HIPPARION IS MY NAME” 

out his foreleg—“did you ever see a horse 
with a leg like that ? ” 

“No, certainly not,” said Walter at once. 
Hipparion’s leg was quite different from a 
horses ; it had one big hoof in. the middle, 
and a smaller one on each side. 

“What a funny leg!” said Jenny. “Why 

have you got legs like that ? 

35 




WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ Well-,” said Hipparion, “ I have never really 
thought about it ; but now you ask me, I find 
them very useful when I gallop through the 
soft, loose ground. My middle hoof would sink 
rieht in if it wasn’t for the others. It’s said 
in our family that my great-great-grandfathers 
had bigger side-hoofs than mine. Perhaps my 
greatest grandsons won’t have any at all.” 

“ I wonder if our horses are your great-grand¬ 
sons?” said Walter. They have one big hoof 
on each leg—so far as one can see.” 

Hipparion looked interested. “ I shouldn’t 

wonder if you were right,” he said ; “ very likely 

you are. But what are you doing down here 

in a world that’s been dead thousands of 
^ ” 

years r 

He did not look at all dead ; very much alive 
in fact, as he talked and whisked his tail. 

“We came to go into the wood,” said Jenny. 
“We went right through it and saw the Moa- 
bircl on the sand when we came out on the 
other side ; but I didn’t like her very much.” 

“Well, she was nice to us afterwards,” 
said Walter. “Do you know her?” 

Hipparion shook his head slowly. 

36 



THE SEA-COW AND HIPPARION 


“ I don’t know what wood you mean,” he 
said. “ Did you cross a wide, deep valley on 
your way here ?” 

“Yes,” said the children. 

“Well, that’s the Gulf of Ages,” said Hip- 
parion ; “ nobody on this side can cross to the 
other; it’s about thirty thousand years across, 
and we on this side don’t know anybody on the 
other side, nor anything about them. But, I 
say, do you know Bates ? ” 

“No,” answered Walter. “Who is he?” 

“ He’s a friend of mine ; that wood belongs 
to him. It just struck me that he must be 
a relation of yours.” 

“ We haven’t got any relations named Bates? ” 
said Jenny,’ looking at her brother. 

“ No,” said Walter. 

“You are so like him,” said Hipparion, sit¬ 
ting down again to look first at him and then 
at Jenny. “ Bates walks on his hind-legs, 
and waves his arms about just like you ; and 
he climbs trees, Bates does. You can climb 
trees, I suppose?” 

“ Walter climbs splendidly,” said Jenny. 
“And I can climb too.” 

37 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ And when you climb trees, you eat things 
you find on them?” said Hipparion. 

“ Rather ! ” answered Walter, thinking of the 
orchard. 

“Then you may depend upon it, I’m right. 
I should say that Bates,” he raised his fore¬ 
foot as if measuring the height of something— 
“ I should say at a rough guess that Bates 
was your very great-uncle.” 

“All the better for me,” said Walter; “to¬ 
morrow’s my birthday.” 

“Wally! You think of nothing but tips,” 
said Jenny severely. 

“ Of course you will go and see him ? ” said 
Hipparion ; “ I’ll show you the way to his 

house if you like.” 

They were walking slowly towards the wood 
as they talked, and when Jenny said, “Oh yes, 
please do,” Hipparion replied, “Come along,” 
and dashed off among the trees at such a pace, 
that Walter had to stop him. 

“Hi! we can’t go as fast as that,” he cried. 

“Of course you can’t if you go on your hind¬ 
legs. Why don’t you swing along by your hands 
from bough to bough, like Bates ? ” 

38 


THE SEA-COW AND HIPPARION 


“I couldn’t do such a thing!" cried Jenny; 
“I’m not a monkey! " 

“Well, I never!" said Hipparion, sitting down 
suddenly and opening his eyes wide. “What 
next? If you are not monkeys, what are you? 
Just tell me that." 

He seemed so positive about it, that Jenny 
was quite taken aback, and did not answer at 
once. Walter said, “Jenny is a girl, and I’m a 
boy," but Hipparion merely waved his hoof as 
if to say, “Wait till your opinion is asked." 

“Do you mean to tell me," he said, “that 
nobody ever told you you were a monkey ? " 

“ When we were very little children, and got 
into mischief, you know, and that sort of thing, 
Nurse used to call us young monkeys," said 
Jenny. 

“Of course she did," said Hipparion, with 
a triumphant air. “ She wouldn’t call you old 
monkeys even now." 

“Look here," said Walter, who was getting 
impatient, “you said you would show us the 
way to Mr. Bates’ house." 

“Come along," said Hipparion good-hum¬ 
ouredly, getting up and shaking himself. “I’ll 

39 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


carry you both. Step on that tree-stump and 
get on my back, both of you. That's all right. 
Now hold on tight.” 



ONE OF HIPPARION’S TREMENDOUS JUMPS 


Walter held on to Hipparion’s mane, and 

Jenny, sitting behind, put her arms round Walter’s 

waist. Hipparion looked round, and seeing they 

40 


THE SEA-COW AND HIPPARION 


were all right, set off at an easy gallop through 
the wood. Except when he made one of his 
tremendous jumps such as that in the picture, 
it was just like riding a rocking-horse, Jenny 
said, he went so smoothly. 


4 1 





CHAPTER III 


HOLLOW-TREE HOUSE 













/ 

















CHAPTER III 


HOLLOW-TREE HOUSE 

% 

AFTER rather a long ride through the 
shade, they suddenly came out on an 
open glade, in the midst of which was 
a huge tree with a little fenced garden round 
it. Hipparion stopped at the gate, on which 
was painted in large letters— 

MR. HY. LOW BATES, 

HOLLOW-TREE HOUSE. 

“Jump down,” said Hipparion, speaking for 
the first time since they climbed upon his 
back. “This is Bates’ house, but there doesn’t 
seem to be any one about.” 

“ I think I hear some one digging behind 
those shrubs,” said Walter. 

“You’re right,” said Hipparion. “It’s the 
gardener. Hello there, McAcus ! ” 

“Weel? ” said a surly voice. 

45 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“Is your master at home?’’ 

“Ay, he’s at hame,” replied the voice, and 
the sound of digging began again. 

“Come and open the gate,” called Hipparion 
sharply. 

“Joost oppen ut tae yer’sel,” answered the 
voice, and the spade clicked on pebbles once 
more. 

“ It’s a Scotch gardener, like Lord Gatwick’s,” 
whispered Jenny. 

“ He’s a very cross gardener anyhow,” said 
Walter. 

Hipparion, with his head over the gate, had 
been trying to reach the latch. Unable to undo 
it, he said in a loud voice, “Stand back please, 
chbdrtn, and I will kick it down in a minute.” 

There was the clatter of a spade Hung down, 
and from behind the shrubs ran a very wrinkled 
old monkey, with shaggy brown hair all over 
him: he wore a Tam-o’-Shanter cap on the 
side of his head. 

“ Wull ye kick ut doon then?” he shouted 
angrily. “Wull ye?” Then seeing the party 
at the gate, he touched his cap and came for¬ 
ward grumbling to open it. 

46 




J.A-S 


HE CAME FORWARD GRUMBLINC 















H 0 LLOW -TREE HOUSE 


“Come awa in,’ he said, “and gang up 
and knock on the door.” He pronounced it 
“doo-er,” just like Lord Gatwick’s gardener. 

“I don’t see the door,” said Walter, “or 
any house to have a door.” 

McAcus muttered something to himself, and 
led the way up the path to the great tree 
which looked as if it had been struck by 
lightning. 

“ Good-bye for the present,” cried Hip- 
parion from the gate; “give my love to your 
uncle and aunt.” 

“ Yon’s the hoose ! ” said McAcus, walking up 
to the tree-trunk and hitting it a very hard 
blow with his fist; “and yon’s the door!” 

“ You will hurt yourself,” cried Jenny, who 
was very tender-hearted, as she saw the 
oardener was about to hit the trunk another 
blow. 

“ I hav hurt ma’sel,” said McAcus sadly 
but sternly, “but ut’s ma duty.” 

“ Well, wait a minute,” said Jenny, “ I think 
they heard your first knock.” 

McAcus drew off a step or two, sat down 
on the path, and sucked his knuckles. “It’s 

47 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


worruk,” he said, taking his hand from his 
mouth to make the remark—“ it’s worruk, 
worruk, worruk, a’ the day ; a’ day and every 
day. I’ll need tae knock on yon door again. 
Ye’ll see.” 

“ Hush! I hear somebody calling inside,” 
said Jenny. “ Listen ! ” 

The children listened, and could hear a voice, 
as it seemed, from far below the roots of the 
tree. 

“ Ann ! Ann ! why don’t you shut the kitchen 
door and answer the front door, and tell that 
beggar to go away ? ” 

McAcus chuckled gloomily, and muttered 
“Worruk, worruk.” 

“1 suppose he means they have a great 
deal of work to do here,” said Jenny. 

“Just that,” said McAcus. 

There were squeaky footsteps inside the 
tree-trunk, and the children watched to see 
where the bark would open, when the sharp 
voice they had heard before spoke again, sound¬ 
ing much nearer than before— 

“Ann! Just remember I am Not at 
Home.” 


48 




HOLLOW-TREE HOUSE 


“ I’ll try and remember, ma’am,” said a meek 
voice, and then the tree-trunk opened exactly 
where the gardener had knocked, and an elderly 
grey monkey, wearing a white starched cap and 
apron, stood in the doorway. 

“Will you please ask Mr. Bates—” began 
Walter. 

He was interrupted by a low, cooing scream 
from some one in the hall. 

“My dearest children ! So glad to see 
you ! Do come in at once. Oh ! Only sup¬ 
posing Ann had said ‘Not at Home’!!” 

“It’s the Mistress,” said Ann, “but she’s 
Not at Home ! ” 

Having said this she disappeared with a 
jerk as if somebody had pulled her from be¬ 
hind, and Mrs. Bates herself came forward. 
I must describe her for you. She was about 
as high as the dining-room table, with arms 
and hands so long, that by bending her knees 
the least bit she could put her knuckles on 
the ground. She was dressed in long black vel¬ 
vety wool. Her face was very like one of those 
indiarubber faces one finds on the crackers 
at Christmas; and it was fringed all round 

49 D 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


with white hair: she had beautiful brown 
eyes, very round and bright. 

“ Come in ! ” she said, holding out both hands ; 
“ we have been wondering when you would 
come. Your great-uncle will be charmed. Come 
into the drawing-room and see him.” 

o 

Walter and Jenny looked at each other in sur¬ 
prise, but followed Mrs. Bates in. It seemed 
absurd that a monkey hardly up to Jenny’s 
elbow should be their great-aunt ; but it was 
odd how Hipparion had said at once that 
Mrs. Bates was a relation of theirs, and Mrs. 
Bates had not only recognised them, but was 
expecting them ! 

They soon forgot to wonder about relation¬ 
ship, however, in their surprise at the house. 
It was a large tree outside ; but how big, you 
could not guess until you got inside. Mrs. 
Bates led the way across the hall (“big enough 
to play badminton in,” Walter thought) and 
into the drawing-room, where Mr. Bates sat on 
the floor thinking very hard about something. 
You will see how he did it if you look in the 
picture. 

“My dear!” said Mrs. Bates, “what do you 

*50 


HOLLOW'TREE HOUSE 

think? Here are Jenny and Walter come to 
see us!” 

Mr. Bates stopped thinking at once, got up, 



-r; 





MR. BATES THINKING VERY HARD 


and came to meet them, smiling pleasantly. 
Except that he was a little bigger, he 
exactly like his wife, black and woolly. 


5i 


was 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ I am delighted to see you,” he said, giving 
his right hand to Walter and his left to 
Jenny. 

“ Delighted /” Then he changed hands, 
giving Jenny the right and Walter the left. 
“ Delighted /” he said again. 

“Sit down and rest yourselves, my dears,” 
said Mrs. Bates. “You must be tired after 
such a long journey.” 

“ It didn’t seem so very far, thanks,” said 
Jenny, taking the little chair Mrs. Bates offered ; 
“and the pony—that is, Hipparion—brought us 
through the wood.” 

“ What a long way!” exclaimed Mrs. Bates, 
throwing her eyes and arms to show how sur¬ 
prised she was. “Why, you must have come 
forty thousand years at least! ” 

“Quite fifty thousand,” said Mr. Bates. 
“You came all the way from the Living- 
World?” he added to Walter. 

“ From Lynn, in Norfolk,” said Walter, not 
quite understanding what he meant by “the 
Living World.” 

“Then that’s fully fifty thousand years from 
here.” 


5 2 



HOLLOW'TREE HOUSE 


“ Not more than forty thousand, I think" 
said Mrs. Bates. 

“ Pardon me, my love, but it’s quite fifty 
thousand,” said Mr. Bates politely, but firmly. 

“We must meet and argue the point if you 
insist,” said Mrs. Bates in a warning tone. 

“Yes, .1 suppose we must,” sighed Mr. 
Bates. “ We had better discuss it in the corner 
by the door as usual.” 

“Come!” said his wife, leading the way; “it 
must be settled.” 

Walter and Jenny could not see why the 
Bateses thought so much about the distance, nor 
why they said “years” instead of miles; and 
as they themselves were not invited to join in 
the Bateses’ talk, they amused themselves by 
looking about the room. It was more like a 
greenhouse than a drawing-room. There were 
no pictures on the walls, which were decorated 
with bunches of leaves, clusters of strange nuts, 
and here and there a thick branch which stuck 
out from the wall. The oddest thing was, there 
were no windows ; the light came from above ; 
and when Jenny looked up, she saw there was 
no ceiling : you looked right up the hollow trunk 

53 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


of the tree to a patch of sky at the top. Bushes 
and ferns grew inside this chimney and partly 
stopped it up. 

“ The tree must be hollow to the very top,” 
Jenny whispered to Walter; “it is a queer 
house.” 

“I think it’s rather a jolly one,” said Walter. 
“I say, Jen, I think Mr. and Mrs. Bates are 
quarrelling.” 

It did seem rather like it: they were sitting- 
on the floor, facing each other, waving their long 
arms, and shouting at the top of their voices. 
All at once they stopped, and Mr. Bates got 
up and handed his wife a palm-leaf fan, with a 
bow and a smile. 

“He has such a courtly manner,” murmured 
Mrs. Bates, fanning herself languidly. 

“We have argued the point,” said Mr. Bates, 
coming over to where Walter and Jenny sat 
watching them. “We have decided to agree 
that you have come forty-seven thousand five 
hundred and forty-nine years, eleven months, 
twenty-nine days, eleven hours, and four minutes 
to see us. Think of that! Isn’t it wonder¬ 
ful ? ” 


54 


HOLLOW'TREE HOUSE 


“The time—I mean distance?’’ asked Walter, 
much puzzled. 

“The time is wonderful,” said Mr. Bates; 
“but I asked if you did not think it wonderful 
that we decided the point so soon ? ” 

“And with such an exact result,” added Mrs. 
Bates. 

“Was it so very difficult to agree?” asked 
Jenny, who didn’t at all understand what the 
discussion had been about, but was glad their 
chattering was over. 

o 

“ Very difficult,” said Mr. Bates. He lowered 
his voice and added, “ Why, it was a scientific 
question ! ” 

“Really?” said Walter, beginning to think it 
must be important. 

“Truly,” said Mr. Bates. “You have just 
seen a scientific meeting between Mrs. Bates 
and myself.” 

“Come now,” said Mrs. Bates, rising from 
the floor. “These dear children are tired, and 
they must want their tea. I will ring for Ann.” 

She took a bell made of half the shell of a 
cocoanut and a pebble, and rang it solemnly 
until Ann appeared and was told to bring tea. 

55 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ That is my parlour-maid,’’ said Mrs. Bates 
as the door closed again. “ She is honest, but 
so slow and so stupid —and so dirty.” 

“Can’t you make her wash?’’ asked Jenny. 

“ I wouldn’t ask her to wash,” said Mrs. 
Bates. “ It’s not usual ; but I do think she 
might dust herself sometimes : she never dusts 
anything else.” 

“ What can be expected of a creature with 
such a name as Ann Thropithecus ? ” asked 
Mr. Bates. 

“ It’s rather a difficult name to say, but she 
can’t help it, I suppose,” said Jenny; “it was 
given to her.” 

“You’re not obliged to keep everything you 
are given, my dear,” said Mrs. Bates. “If 
somebody gave you something you didn’t want, 
what should you do with it ? ” 

“ Perhaps I should give it away, if the 
person who gave it didn’t mind.” 

“ Of course. Well, why doesn’t Ann give 
away her surname?” asked Mrs. Bates. “I 
would give her a new one the same day.” 

At this moment the drawing-room door burst 
open with a crash, and a large tray, laden with 

56 



HOLLOW 'TREE HOUSE 


tea-things, flew in, followed by Ann, who pitched 
heavily among the cups and saucers on the floor. 
Mrs. Bates gave a faint scream ; Walter and Jenny 
ran to help Ann up and see if she were hurt. 

“I tripped in my apron, ma’am,” faltered 
Ann, receiving her cap from Jenny, and hastily 
putting it on back to front. 

“You tripped in your tail!" cried Mrs. Bates, 
trembling with anger. “ Haven’t I told you 
over and over again that you must keep it 
coiled up in the house, as you will wear such 
a stupid, useless thing ? How often have I 
trodden upon it for a punishment, I should like 
to know?” (Mr. and Mrs. Bates had no taijs 
at all, and Ann’s was only a false one.) 

“Sic — six t — times, ma’am,” sobbed Ann, 
wiping her eyes with her cap-strings. 

“ I'he very next time it happens,” said Mrs. 
Bates severely, “ I give you a months warning. 
Put your cap on straight, and bring in another 
tray” 

“ Please, ma’am, I think there’s some one at 
the front door,” said Ann, putting her cap 
straight, and then sitting down to tie her tail 
in a loose fancy knot. 


57 




WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ Say ‘ The Mistress is not 
snapped Mrs. Bates. 

The visitor, whoever it was, 
impatient. The knocking never 


at Home/ 

seemed very 
ceased for a 



“ THE VERY NEXT TIME IT HAPPENS, I GIVE YOU A 
MONTH’S WARNING ” 

moment, and echoed louder and louder through 
the house till the door was opened. Then 
there was a shriek, a squeaky scuffle of feet 
(it was funny how Ann’s bare feet squeaked, 

53 






HOLLOW 'TREE HOUSE 


just like a parlour-maid’s new boots), and the 
next moment Ann appeared, this time on the 
top of the open door. 

“Mr. Mackie Rodus,” she announced, with 
a fearful glance down at the visitor who was 
coming in. 

“Not at Homk!” screamed Mr. and Mrs. 
Bates in a breath, and with a bound and a 
swing the pair reached a bough high up on 
the wall, where they sat trembling in each 
other’s arms. 

“Save yourselves!” they cried to the two 
children, who were a good deal frightened. 
“Say you are not at home!” 

But it was too late. Mr. Mackie Rodus was 
already in the room. 


59 





CHAPTER IV 


THE TIGER 





CHAPTER IV 


M 


THE TIGER 

R. MACKIE RODUS was an immense 
tiger, with long white tusks coming 
down on each side of his mouth like 
those of a walrus. He was sleek and fat, and 
his striped coat shone like satin as he walked 
in on his hind-legs, with his tail sticking up. 
He looked rather conceited; he was plainly 
very proud of his tusks, which he stroked as 
if they were moustaches. 

“How d’e do?” he said, offering Jenny his 
paw and looking at her over his nose. “ How 
d’e do, my little man ? ” 

Walter did not like being called “ my little 
man,” even by a creature which stood quite 
seven feet high on his hind-legs. He said, 
“ Quite well, thanks,” but turned very red. 

“And is my friend Mrs. Bates at home?’ 
asked the Tiger. 

63 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ I think she is not able to see visitors 

/ 

to-day,” replied Jenny, glancing' up at th^ 
bough where Mr. and Mrs. Bates were 
perched. 

“She didn’t know it was I who called, I 
expect,” said the Tiger, “or she wouldn’t 
have said she was out. She likes to see me.” 

His back was turned to the wall, and when 
he said this Mr. and Mrs. Bates gave a little 
dart forward, making the most hideous faces • 
at him without a sound. 

“Now I wonder if I should find her up¬ 
stairs,” said the Tiger. “ I particularly want to 
see her this afternoon.” 

Mr. and Mrs. Bates drew back on their 
bough and climbed to a higher one, so softly, 
that not a leaf rustled. 

“Can we give her any message?” asked 
Walter. 

“Well, I wanted them both for supper.” 
(Mr. and Mrs. Bates sprang two yards higher 
up the wall.) “That is, you know,—I was 
going to ask them to come to supper.” 

“ I will tell them,” said Walter. “ When 
do you have supper ? ” 


64 




MR. MACKIE RODUS WALKED IN 
























THE TIGER 


“ I have it when I’m hungry,” said the 
Tiger; “ask them to come then.” 

Mr. and Mrs. Bates started off again, and 
did not stop till they were far up the chimney 
overhead. 

“ I’ve asked them to supper,” said the Tiger 
in an injured tone, “over and over again; 
and they always promise faithfully to come, 
and they never do.” 

Walter and Jenny did not know what to 
say to this, so they waited for the Tiger 
to go on. 

“ I have begged them to come and stay at 
the Den—that’s my house, you know—and 
said, ‘ Bring your own maid ’ ” (there was a 
clatter on the open door, and Jenny glanced 
round in time to see Ann’s cap-strings dis¬ 
appear over the top). “ ‘ You shall have 
home comforts, late dinner, cheerful society, 
and a Christmas-tree every Saturday night.’ 
Could I do more ? ” he asked, appealing 
to Jenny. 

“It was very kind of you, I’m sure,” said 
Jenny. 

“Yes, it was,” agreed the Tiger; “very 

65 E 




WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


kind. Come to supper to-night, you and 
your brother. It isn’t Saturday, so there 
won’t be any Christmas-tree; but you shall 
hang up your stockings instead.” 

“We are staying with Mrs. Bates, you 
see,” said Jenny, who was very curious to see 
the Tiger’s Den, and also wondered what she 
should find in her stocking. “She might be 
a little offended if we went out to supper 
on the very first day we came.” 

“Ah yes, so she might,” said the Tiger; 
“but I’ll tell you what; you go and ask 
her. Isn’t that a happy thought?” He 
really seemed quite pleased with himself, for 
his eyes sparkled. “Trot along.” 

It was all very well for him to say “Trot 
along,” just as if she had only to run upstairs ; 
but Jenny saw, if the Tiger did not, that 
Mr. and Mrs. Bates had been climbing quietly 
higher and higher, until now only the shaking 
of leaves high up the chimney showed where 
they were. 

“ I think,” said the Tiger, seeing that 
Jenny hesitated, “ I’ll just take a stroll in the 

garden while you go and ask Mrs. Bates.” 

66 


THE TIGER 


“He thinks an awful lot of himself,” said 
Walter, when the door had closed behind 
the Tiger. “He wouldn’t be such a bad 
creature if he wasn’t so stuck-up.” 

“ I think he’s rather amusing, though I’m 
sure he would be offended if he were told 
so,” said Jenny. “ But how in the world 
are we to ask Mrs. Bates if we may go to 
supper with him ? Don’t you see where they’ve 
got to ? ” 

The two children stood in the middle of 
the room and stared up till they got crick in 
the neck. The Bateses must have been 
watching them, for a long arm was waved as 
they looked. 

“Shout, Wally,” said Jenny; “ask if we 
may go to supper at the Den.” 

So Walter shouted, and after a pause the 
answer came like the cooing of a dove in 
the chimney— 

“Yes, do-o-o-o.” 

“ And stay all night ? ” shouted Walter again, 
prompted by Jenny, who wanted to hang up 
her stocking. 

“Yes, do-o-o-o!” came down like a soft echo. 

67 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ I expect they would let us do anything to 
get the Tiger out of the house,’’ said Walter. 
“They are most awfully afraid of him.” 

When they came out they found the Tiger 
strolling up and down the garden path looking 
at the flower-beds. Now and then he stirred 
a bush with his paw, as if he were hunting for 
something. 

“ Shall I pick you a button-hole, Mr. Mackie 
Rodus ? ” asked Jenny, who was in high 
spirits: she forgot he had no button-hole in 
which to put a flower. 

The Tiger did not answer ; he went on 
poking among the bushes. Presently he said, 
“Could you lend me a gardener?” 

“Well, really,” said Jenny, taken aback— 
“ perhaps Mr. Bates would lend you McAcus,” 
she said, thinking that must be what he meant. 

“ Of course he would,” said the Tiger quite 
briskly ; “ I didn’t think of that. I know where 
McAcus is, and will go and borrow him.” 

“ That’s pretty cool, I must say,” remarked 
Walter, as the Tiger strode round the tree- 
house. “If I were Mr. Bates I wouldn’t 
stand it, I know.” 


68 



THE TIGER 


I hey heard the Tiger roaring for McAcus, 
and presently there rose a terrible noise, which 
reminded them of the day when they found 

a hen in an empty corn-bin and tried to help 
it out with a rake and a broomstick. 

“ What can he be doing ?” asked Jenny. 

“ Let us go and see.” 

They ran round to the back, where there 
was a kitchen-garden and a tool-house. The 
Tiger was holding up a sack with both paws, 
and shaking something carefully down to the 
bottom of it. Having done this, he held the 
sack with one paw and spun it with the other 

till it was tightly twisted up, when he hung 

it carelessly over his arm. 

“ I have borrowed the gardener,” he said; 
“ it gave me some inconvenience, because he 
went and hid himself in the tool-house. I 
shall complain to Mr. Bates of his behaviour.” 

Inside the sack McAcus could be heard 
grumbling, “ Worruk: worruk : worruk a the 
day. An’ whaurs ma bunnet?” 

‘‘I put his cap in with him,” said the Tiger. 
“It must have got twisted up.” 

“ I’m afraid he is very uncomfortable in 

69 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


there,” said Jenny, “he is screwed up so 
tightly.” , 

“ ‘ A cheerful and contented mind,’ ” quoted 
the Tiger, “ ‘ can be happy anywhere ! ’ ” 

“ I don’t think that means in a sack,” said 
Jenny, who could not bear to see any one badly 
treated ; “ and I don’t think, you know, that 
McAcus has got a very cheerful and con¬ 
tented mind.” 

“ If he hasn’t, he can’t be happy anywhere, 
so it doesn’t matter where he is,” said the 
Tiger triumphantly, giving the sack another 
twist. 

They turned out at the garden gate and 
went into the wood, the Tiger walking be¬ 
tween them. The Den was not more than 
ten minutes’ walk from Hollow-Tree House. 
It was a cave in the face of a cliff at the 
top of a mossy slope which began where the 
wood ended : the rocks were overgrown with 
yellow lichen, and wherever there was a crack 
or a cranny, flowers grew ; pink and white 
blossoms, which made the cliff look like a 
great flower-bed standing on end. The only 

unpleasant thing about the place was the 

70 


THE TIGER 

quantity of bones. Big bones and little bones, 





THE TIGER WALKING BETWEEN THEM 

skulls and antlers, were scattered for yards 
and yards round the door of the cave. 

7 1 





WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“What splendid antlers,” said Walter, point¬ 
ing to a very large pair which had been ^et 
up against the rock. 

“ They belonged to one of my dearest 
friends,” said the Tiger sadly. “ What hunts 
we had together, he and I ! ” 

“Did he get killed?” asked Walter, who 
was always interested in hunting: he used to 
hunt on a pony in the Christinas holidays, but 
that was fox-hunting. Hunting a stag with 
such antlers as those, he thought, must be even 
more exciting. 

“Yes, he got killed,” replied the Tiger; 
“but please do not ask me about it: it was 
very painful, particularly for him, poor dear 
fellow.” 

Of course Walter could not ask him any¬ 
thing more after that. There was only a 
narrow path through the heaps of bones 
outside the Den door, so he fell behind and 
followed Jenny and the Tiger in silence. 

“ This is the Den,” said their host, waving 
his paw round. “ Home comforts ; well-aired 
beds ; jam for tea—everything.” 

It was a beautiful cave. However careless 

72 





HE TURNED M { ACUS OUT ON THE FLOOR 













THE TIGER 


the Tiger was about leaving bones outside, his 
house was so clean, you might have eaten your 
dinner off the door. It was very well lighted, 
because there were two windows on either side 
of the door. These could not be seen from 
the outside because of the dowers; but once 
you were inside, the dowers helped to keep 
out the glare of the afternoon sun. In the 
middle of the cave was a smooth rock shaped 
like a huge mushroom, which made a perfect 
table; and the rock sofas and lounges were 
buried deep in soft dry grass and ferns, as 
springy to sit on as a new haycock. 

“ Why, all your chairs are rocking-chairs, 
Mr. Mackie Rodus,” cried Jenny. “I do love 
rocking-chairs.” 

“ Each was a rock to begin with,” said the 
Tiger, “so it had only to be made a rocker 
—the simplest thing in the world. Pray sit 
down and make yourselves comfy while I call 
my servant.” 

He went to the door and shouted “ Hi ! ” 
several times ; but when nobody answered, he 
came in looking rather cross. 

“ Perhaps if you called your servant’s name 

73 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


he would come,” said Jenny, who was rocking 
in the biggest chair. 

“ I did call his name,” said the Tiger. “His 
name is Hi Enodon, and it suits him exactly, 
for he never has done anything when I ask 
him.” 

“ Why not send McAcus to look for him ? ” 
said Jenny. 

“ That’s a good idea,” said the Tiger. fie 
took the sack by the bottom corners and turned 
McAcus out on the floor. The gardener snorted, 
yawned, got up and shook himself. 

“Weel?” he said, in a surly tone as he sat 
down and began to pull his Tam-o’-Shanter 
into shape. “ Weel ? ” 

“McAcus, will you please go and call Mr. 
Mackie Rodus’ servant Hi?” said Jenny. 

“ It’s nae duty o’ mine to ca’ him,” said 
McAcus. 

“ It’s your duty to obey me,” said Jenny 
sharply, for his manner was very rude, and 
she would not allow rudeness from a monkey. 
“ Go!” 

“Worruk!” said McAcus; “worruk!”—his 
voice was choky—“ wor-ruk ! ” He burst into 

74 





“ it’s nae duty o’ mine to ca’ him 








THE TIGER 


tears and went, wiping his eyes on his Tam-o’- 
Shanter. 

“ I am sorry I hurt his feelings,” said Jenny, 
“ but he wouldn’t go when I asked him nicely.” 

“ I hope you haven’t hurt his feelings,” said 
the Tiger, “because then he won’t come back, 
and then-” 

He stopped suddenly, but Walter thought he 
heard him say something like “ Hate a cold 
supper.” 


75 











0 















I 





































CHAPTER V 

THE TIGER’S SUPPER PARTY 




















































CHAPTER V 


THE TIGER’S SUPPER PARTY 

V ERY soon after McAcus went out of 
the cave Hi came in. Both jenny and 
Walter took a dislike to Hi the minute 


they saw him. He was 
a mangy, shabby-look- 
ing hyaena, who looked 
as if he had just done 
something he was 
ashamed of and knew 
he should be found out. 
He did not trot boldly 

J 

across the cave to reach 
the kitchen door: he 
shuffled all round the 
room, keeping close to 
the wall, looking at 
them out of the corners 
of his eyes. 



HI SHUFFLED ALL ROUND 
THE ROOM 


79 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“Supper!” said the Tiger fiercely. “Veni¬ 
son and jelly, with cocoanut tart to follow. Did 
you ever taste cocoanut tart?” he asked Jenny 
in his purring voice. 

“Cocoanut pudding we like very much,” re¬ 
plied Jenny, “but I don’t remember ever having 
cocoanut tart.” 

“You shall each have a very large piece 
to eat in bed,” said the Tiger, with a smile. 
“ When I was a little cub there was nothing I 
enjoyed so much as eating in bed ” 

“Thank you, that will be a treat,” said Jenny 
politely. 

“ I have another treat in store for you,” the 
Tiger went on. “ I have asked my friend Mr. 
Sam O’Therium to come round and sing to us 
after supper. He is Irish, as you will know 
from his name, but he has travelled a great 
deal.” 

Meanwhile Hi was laying the table. There 
was one good thing about him—he was so quiet, 
and moved so silently, you would never have 
known he was in the room. 

“Come along,” said the Tiger, when Hi said 

supper was ready. “ I hope there’s lots to eat.” 

80 



THE TIGER’S SUPPER PARTY 


The venison was very good, and so was the 
tart. The only drawback was that the Tiger 
gave such enormous helpings: he gave each 
of the children a whole leg, and seemed quite 
hurt when they only ate one or two small 
slices. He ate a tremendous supper himself, 
finishing the deer, which was bigger than one 
of the sheep you see hanging in the butcher’s, 
and then calling Hi to bring “another help¬ 
ing.” His second help was only half a deer, it 
is true, but he ate every bit, and there was 
scarcely a scrap left when he had finished. 
The bones did not give him the least trouble; 
he cracked the biggest as easily as you do a 
bit of celery. He did not eat fast, but his 
mouth was always full ; so there was not much 
talking till supper was over. He made Hi bring 
the tart for Jenny and Walter, while he had 
his second helping of venison. 

“ 1 didn’t ask Sam to supper,” he said, 
wiping his long tusks with his paws, “ because 
he doesn’t eat meat. He is a—a—a— What 
do you call a person who only eats greens 
and things ? ” 

“ I know ; you mean a vegetarian,” said 

8 1 F 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 

Walter. “The Curate at home is a vegetarian, 
and only eats fruit and vegetables.” 



THE BONES DID NOT GIVE HIM THE LEAST TROUBLE 


“Just so,” said the Tiger, with a beaming 

smile ; “ there’s another reason why I didn’t ask 

him : he is one of the great 

82 


personages 







THE TIGER'S SUPPER PARTY 


about here; next to the Master Don, I sup¬ 
pose he is the greatest ; but he is my special 
friend.” 

Mr. Sam O’Therium came round after supper, 
and then the children understood why his 
“greatness” prevented his coming to supper. 
He was so big he could not possibly get in 
at the cave door. If you look in the picture 
you will see what he was like. He took his 
own way through the bone-heaps outside, and 
you should have seen how he kicked them 
about. 

“ Good evening,” he said, bending down his 
head to peep in, and speaking in a voice so 
deep it seemed to come from the bottom of 
a well. “ I have come round to be introduced 
to your young friends.” 

The Tiger jumped up from the table and 
performed the ceremony of introduction with 
many bows, and flourishes of the paw. Then 
he proposed that they should go outside and 
sit on the bone-heaps to enjoy the cool evening. 

“ Hi shall take out something for us to 
sit on,” he added, as I don’t want to dirty 
my coat.” 


83 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


Mr. Sam O’Therium laughed a long rumbling 
laugh; he was standing upright now, and it 
sounded like thunder just overhead. 

“He is the best-dressed creature in this 
part of the country,” he said to Jenny, “and 
takes such care of his clothes.” 

“Nonsense, Sam!” said the Tiger, evidently 
pleased, all the same. “ Do sit down and 
make yourself comfortable.” 

Sam, who had been fidgeting about un¬ 
easily since the Tiger came out of the cave, 
just put down his head and said in a low 
voice, “Have you had dinner?” 

“ I have eaten all I want,” replied the 

'p • 

1 lger. 

“ On your honour ? ” 

“ On my honour,” said the Tiger solemnly. 

“Yes,” said Sam, sitting down and speak¬ 
ing out loud once more, “ Mackie Rodus is quite 
the best-dressed creature I know.” 

“ I think his coat is lovely,” said Jenny. 

“It’s a pretty good fit, I think,” said the 

Tiger, getting up on pretence of stretching 

himself, but really to show off. “I’m sure the 

pattern is bad style, though : it’s too loud.” 

84 


THE TIGER'S SUPPER PARTY 


“ I like that bright yellow with a black 
stripe,” said Jenny. 

The Tiger raised his paw to hide a grin of 
pleasure, and turned round slowly to be admired. 



THE TIGER GOT UP ON PRETENCE OF 
STRETCHING HIMSELF 


“Where do you get your things, if it isn’t 
a rude question?’’ asked Walter. 

“A London man,” answered the Tiger; 

85 






WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ I forget his name, but it’s a very large shop 
in Cromwell Road.” 

“ Do you really get your clothes in London ? ” 
asked both children together. 

“ It’s the only place to get them,” said the 
Tiger; “but I don’t know that I can altogether 
recommend the Cromwell Road shop.” 

He sat down, drawing his tail through his 
paws, and went on: “Every one goes there; 
but they seem to think patterns that please 
creatures in the Living World must suit us, 
and also they are very troublesome when you 
want things in a hurry. They’re careless, too ; 
sometimes they send the wrong things, and 
then there’s endless worry to get them taken 
back. Sam can tell you about that." 

“ Yes, indeed,” said Sam. “ I hadn’t a thing 

to wear : was literally going about in my bones, 

and the Cromwell Road people said they’d 

make me a suit. After an age they sent it, 

and it was not the stuff I’d ordered at all ; 

quite the wrong thing. I sent it back and 

refused to pay the bill. Do you suppose that 

answered? Not a bit of it. They kept the 

suit, and I heard nothing more for goodness 

86 ‘ 


THE TIGER'S SUPPER PARTY 


knows how long - . When I made a row they 
sent word that the things couldn’t be altered 
till they had held a meeting to talk the 

matter over ; they were quite sure, they said, 
that the things were all right, but they would 
talk the matter over the next time they had a 
meeting, and let me know.” 

“ And what did you do then ? ” asked Walter, 
very much interested. 

“ I wrote to them. I said, ‘ If you don’t 
send me a suit I can wear, at once , I’ll leave 
you, and take my custom to a tailor at 

Paris or Berlin.’ That brought them to 
their senses.” 

“ How very tiresome ! ” said Jenny. 

“ I think Hipparion was about the worst 

treated,” said the Tiger. “He was in his 
bones too, as one may say. They sent him 
a suit from Cromwell Road ; as sweet a thing 
as you’d wish to wear ; beautifully cut, a 

perfect fit (I will say they always fit a fellow 
well), the very latest thing in style and pattern. 
Hipparion was delighted. He went peacock¬ 
ing about with his tail up, and swaggered like 
anything. Well, he hadn’t worn the clothes 

87 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 

a week when clown comes a message from 
London to say they find it was a mistake, 
and the clothes must be returned ! ” 

“ 1 wonder he sent them back,” said Walter. 
“ I wouldn’t have done it.” 

“ Do you know what would have happened 
if he had not sent them back?” inquired the 
Tiger, leaning forward, with a paw on each 
thigh. 

Walter had to confess he didn’t. 

“Well, I’ll tell you. They would have 
sent for Hipparion and said to him, ‘We must 
take your measure again’—just an excuse, 
you know—and then they would have taken 
him to pieces and have shut up all his bones 
in glass cases.” 

Jenny gave a little cry when he said this, 
and clapped her hands. 

“ O Walter, the tailor’s shop is the Natural 
History Museum! There are loads and loads 
of bones there in glass cases! ” 

The Tiger turned and stared at her till 
Jenny felt quite uncomfortable. After a minute’s 
awful silence he said very stiffly— 

“Now we will ask Sam to oblige us with a 

88 





THE TIGER'S SUPPER PARTY 


song. Have you any excuses to make?” he 
added, turning to his friend. 

“ I have the usual supply,” said Sam. 
“Shall I make them at once?” 

“ It would save time, perhaps,” said the 
Tiger ; “ go on.” 

“ I am a little hoarse,” began the visitor 
pleadingly; “a little tired; I have a little 
headache ; I have brought no music; I can’t- 
sing - without - accompaniment - Ican’tplaymyown 
accompaniment.” His voice had grown faster 
and faster, and now he poured out his words 
in a perfect whirl, so that you could not make 
out a thing he said. It was amusing at first; 
but he went on so long that Walter and Jenny 
stopped listening and sat gazing down into 
the wood where the moonlight showed great 

o o 

bats flitting to and fro. At last the guest 
stopped and laid his head on the ground, 
panting, for he was quite out of breath. 

“ He was cram full of excuses to-night,” 
said the Tiger ; “ didn’t you see them running 
down the hill like water as he poured them 
out ? ” 

“ I’m afraid I didn’t notice it,” said Jenny. 

89 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“That’s a pity,” said the Tiger. “A flood of 
excuses is a very interesting sight to see.” 

“The song I am going to sing to you,” 
said Sam, raising his head and rising on his 
haunches, “is a little thing of my own.” 

“That will be very nice,” murmured Jenny. 

He waved his fore-leg to mark the time, and 
began in a high, thin voice, swaying his head 
at each line :— 


“ A straw of hay, 

A nice ripe pea, 

Is, an-ny day, 

E nough for me. 

I sip the dew 
That falls at night : 

A da in-tee thing, 

My ap-pe-tite. 

I do not love 
The taste of meat; 

Give me a leaf, 

So green and sweet.” 

“I’m so glad you like it,” he said with a 

bashful titter, when the Tiger’s roars of 

applause had died away. “It is a pretty 

little thing, is it not?” he added, to Jenny. 

90 





HE WAVED HIS FORE-LEG TO MARK THE TIME 






































































































. 



























THE TIGER'S SUPPER PARTY 


“Very pretty indeed,” answered Jenny 
politely ; but she thought if Walter’s white 
mouse could sing, that song would suit it 
better than this huge creature. 

“There are several more verses,” said Sam; 
but the Tiger, whom he addressed, did not 
seem to hear. 

“ It’s bedtime,” said that animal, yawning. 
“Come along in and I’ll show you where 
you are to sleep.” 

They said “good night” to Sam, who stalked 
away down the slope, singing his little song 
to himself, and followed the Tiger in, through 
the front cave and under a very low door 
into another and larger cave at the back. 

“ It’s nice and light, you see,” he said. “ I 
don’t know how that great lantern came, but 
Hi lights it every night. Sleep well, and 
don’t forget to hang up your stockings.” 

The lantern of which the Tiger spoke stood 
on the floor and threw a bright moon of light on 
a crreat sheet which was hunQf across the cave. 

“ Why, Walter, it’s a magic lantern,” said 
Jenny. “But I don’t see where we are to 
sleep ; do you ? ” 


9 1 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


Walter did not answer; he had found a 
box of slides, and was busy looking for the 
place into which you slip the pictures. He 
had forgotten about bed and bedtime, for a 
magic lantern is such a capital plaything. 

“Ha! I’ve got it. Get out of the way, Jen. 
There ! it’s upside down ; wait a bit. Now! ” 

“ It’s only some stupid writing,” said Jenny, 
looking at the sheet. Pull that one out 
and put in another. Isn’t there the picture 
of the horse that won’t drink till everybody 
stops laughing, Wally?” 

“Wait till I read the writing, Jen,” said 
Walter ; and he read aloud : “ ‘ This is the only 
real magic lantern ever made: walk into the 
pictures, but come 07it before the light goes 
outl ” 

“Well!” said Jenny, “I wonder what that 
means.” 

“We’ll try, anyhow,” said Walter; and he 
pulled out that slide, and put in another. It 
was a picture of the desert, with Arabs and 
camels. “We won’t go there to-night,” said 
Jenny ; and Walter put in another. This pic¬ 
ture was quite different. Two little bedrooms, 

92 


THE TIGER'S SUPPER PARTY 


side by side, with white curtains tied up 
with blue ribbons, and the very snuggest little 
bed you ever saw, in each! 

“I bet that’s what you want just now, Miss 
Jen,” said Walter. 

“ But, Wally, they’re only magic - lantern 
pictures.” 

“Well, you saw what the writing said. I’m 
going to try, anyhow.” 

He ran to the sheet, and it melted away as 
he touched it. He walked into one of the little 
bedrooms and jumped on the bed. 

“ O Wally, you shouldn't get on the bed 
with your boots on,” cried Jenny. 

“ I expect that that is the most magic lantern 
ever made,” said Walter ; “come along into your 
room, Jen!” 

“ But, Wally, what will happen if we are in 
these little rooms when the lantern goes out?” 
asked Jenny, coming rather unwillingly, for she 
was a little bit afraid. 

“ I suppose we should go out with the 
pictures,” said Walter; “ wouldn’t that be 

funny ? ” 

“It would be dreadful ,” said Jenny, “and 

93 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


I know I shall lie awake all night thinking 
about it.” 

Whether it was because she slept in a magic 
bed, or because she was very tired after such 
an exciting day, I don’t know ; but no sooner 
was her head on the pillow than she was fast 
asleep. 


94 


CHAPTER VI 


THE MASTER DON 




CHAPTER VI 


THE MASTER DON 

A TREMENDOUS banging on the cloor 
woke the children next morning. Usu¬ 
ally they were not very good about 
getting up when they were called ; but as soon 
as Jenny opened her eyes she saw that the light of 
the magic lantern was growing dim, so she sprang 
up at once and cried to Walter to make haste. 
Every minute the light and the furniture 
became fainter and fainter ; the bed had almost 
vanished when she had finished dressing, and 
the washstand was quite gone. 

“We are just in time, Walter,” she said, as 
they turned at the door which led to the front 
cave to look back ; “another minute, and where 
should we have been ? ” 

The last flicker of light died out as she 
spoke, and where those two nice little bedrooms 
had been was darkness as black as the cellar. 

97 


Cx 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“Good morning,” said the Tiger, whom 
they found sitting at the table sharpening his 
claws. “You were up just in time this morn- 
in I’ve been out of bed for at least two 

o 

hours and have done my hunt — I mean 
shopping. Did you hang up your stockings 
last night ? ” 

Walter and Jenny had dressed in such a 
hurry that they had not had time to feel dis¬ 
appointed when they found the stockings they 
had hung up empty. 

“Yes, but only for a joke, you know, Mr. 
Mackie Rodus. We didn’t expect presents, 
of course,” said Walter. 

“ Of course not,” said Jenny, but rather 
faintly. 

“Do you mean to say you found nothing 
in them this morning?” asked the Tiger. 

“ Nothing at all,” laughed Walter. 

“That’s very odd,” said the Tiger thought¬ 
fully, “ very odd. I never knew such a thing 
happen before. Perhaps there was a hole in 
your stocking—Eh ? ” 

“Yes there was a big one in the heel,” said 

Walter; “but it doesn’t matter a bit, you know.” 

98 




THE MASTER DON 


“It does matter,” said the Tiger, so sharply 
that the children jumped. “ I've told you, 
Master Walter, over and over and over again—” 
here the Tiger ran into the back cave—“over 
and over again , that holes must be mended 
as soon as they come! Come this very minute 
and change them ! ” he cried shrilly. 

“How exactly like Nurse scolding!” said 
Jenny in a whisper. “ His voice is just like 
Nurse’s, and that’s just what she would say, 
too.” 

“Yes,” said Walter, very much puzzled. 
“ But I may as well go and see.” 

“No!” pleaded Jenny, clinging to his arm. 
“If it is Nurse, she would make me go home, 
and I don’t want to. Let’s run away and 
play in the wood until it’s time to go back 
to Hollow-Tree House.” 

They stole quietly out of the cave, picked 
their way carefully through the bones, and 
raced down the slope into the wood. When 
they got out of sight of the cave among 
the trees they paused to listen, and could 
hear the Tiger calling “Hi” in his own roar¬ 
ing voice, which was not a bit like Nurse’s. 

99 


L.of C. 




WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ It’s a most funny thing,” said Jenny as 
the Tiger called again and again. “ I really did 
think it was Nurse when he began to scold.” 

“ I’ll tell you what / think,” said Walter. 
“ I don’t believe he ever put any presents in 
our stockings, and pretended that he did and 
the things fell out through the holes.” 

“And scolded like Nurse to make us think 
it was our fault?” said Jenny. 

“ Yes,” said Walter. “ It was rather mean 
of him, I think.” 

It was cool and pleasant in the shady 
wood, and the children chased each other 
and played hide-and-seek until they were tired 
out, and had wandered so far from the Den 
that they could not have found their way 
back if they wished. 

“It does not matter,” said Walter, “ we 
will sit down here and rest, and then ask 
the first creature we meet to tell us the way 
to Hollow-Tree House. It will be all right 

o 

if we get back there in time for dinner.” 

“Listen!” said Jenny after a long silence. 
“ What’s that noise ? ” 

Walter stopped drumming with his heels 

ioo 


THE MASTER DON 


on the ground and listened ; the noise was 
a great rustling and heavy thuds as if a giant 
were shaking giant apples from a giant tree. 

“Let’s go and see,” he said; “it doesn’t 
seem to be very far away.” 

A short walk brought them out of the 
wood to a place where there were only low 
bushes and a few palm-trees ; they could see 
cocoanuts hanging in huge green clusters under 
the feathery tops. One palm was being violently 
shaken, and in another moment Jenny said— 

“Why, it’s a tremendous great Elephant, 
Wally! ” 

“ H e is shaking down the cocoanuts,” said 
Walter. “ Let’s cro and ask him for one.” 

o 

The Elephant, who wore a college cap and 
large gold-rimmed spectacles, stared a little 
when he saw the two children, and after a 
moment put out his trunk. 

“I’m very sorry,” said Jenny, “but I haven’t 
got a bun for you.” 

“ I don’t know what you mean,” said the 
Elephant in a big deep voice, and drew his 
trunk back. “What do you want?” 

His manner was so stiff that neither Walter 


4 


IOI 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


nor Jenny liked to ask for a cocoanut, though 
there were dozens and dozens of the great 
green globes lying on the ground; but it 
seemed stupid to say “nothing” and go back 
into the wood, so Walter said — 

“ Please, do you know the way to Hollow- 
Tree House?” 

“ Yes,” said the Elephant, toying with a 
cocoanut. 

“ Then will you -kindly tell us which way 
to go,” said Walter. 

“ Well,” said the Elephant, “ I’d rather not: 
these are the holidays, and it’s my rule not 
to teach anybody anything in the holidays. 
Come back in a month and I’ll tell you any¬ 
thing you like.” 

“We only want you to tell us the way,” 
said Jenny, “not to teach us anything.” 

“Teaching is telling,” said the Elephant, 
“and telling is teaching. You wouldn’t like 
it if they asked you to learn things in the 
holidays ? ” 

“No, certainly we shouldn’t,” said Walter. 

“ Of course not; well, I don’t like teaching 
things in the holidays.” 


102 


THE MASTER DON 


“ 1 suppose, sir, you are a master,” said 
Jenny respectfully. She thought perhaps if 
he could be got into a good temper he would 
tell them the way ; so they wouldn’t go just yet. 



I AM THE MASTER DON 


“Yes,” replied the Elephant. “I am the 
Master Don.” 

“What is a Master Don, please?” asked 
Jenny. 

103 









WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


Evidently the Elephant did not mind telling 
some things during his holidays. He bowled 
his cocoanut into the bushes and sat down 
on his haunches, facing them. 

“You know what a master is ? ” he said. 

“Yes, of course,” said the children. 

“ And perhaps you’ve heard of a Don ? ” 

“They call the Masters at Oxford ‘Dons,’ 
don’t they?” said Walter. 

“They do,” said the Elephant. “I teach; 
but I am far too great a person to be called 
either one or the other. I am four yards high ; 
so I am called both. I am the Master Don.” 

Walter took off his hat and Jenny made 
a curtsey; the Master Don gave two quaint 
little bows, and a quaint little smile with 
each. 

“You are on a visit here, I suppose?” he 
said. His manner was quite changed now ; 
very kind, if a little condescending. 

“ We are staying with Mr. and Mrs. Bates,” 
said Walter. “ At least we spent yesterday there 
and went to supper and to sleep at the Tiger’s 
Den. We were going back to Hollow-Tree 
H ouse now.” 

104 


THE MASTER DON 


“Ah! You are staying with Bates, are you? 
I taught him when he was a lad. What a 
clever fellow he was! I kept school under 
an oak-tree then ; Bates was at the top of 
the school every day ; every day. You simply 
could not keep him down. I might give him 
any bush I chose and he would know all about 
it as soon as he had turned over the leaves.’ 

“ That sounds very clever,” said Walter. 

“ He comes of a clever family,” said the 
Master Don. “ Mackie Rodus was at my 
school, too. I was proud of Mackie Rodus, 
and fond of him. He was a perfect cub.” 

This looks rather contradictory ; but, if you 
think of it, there is a difference between “a 
perfect cub ” and “a perfect cub.” 

“ He was always trying to get up to Bates,” 
continued the Master Don, “but Bates was 
too quick : nobody could ever catch him up. 
He is a fine creature, Mackie Rodus, but I 
am afraid he has not many friends nowadays. 
I think that I myself am the only creature 
for whom he has any real respect.” 

“Why does he lose his friends?” asked 

Jenny. “Isn’t he nice to them?” 

105 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“He meets them out hunting,” sighed the 
Master Don, “and then they get killed. His 
friends would be only too glad if he did lose 
them ; what they don’t like is his finding them.” 

He took up a cocoanut in his trunk and 
thumped his head with it thoughtfully. After 
one or two thumps it broke, and the milk 
bubbled out and streamed over- his head. 

“ Most refreshing,” he said as he put the 
broken husk into his mouth; “very pleasant on 
a warm day like this. May I do the same for 
you ? ” he asked politely, picking up another 
cocoanut and holding it over Jenny’s head. 

“Thanks very much, but I’d rather you 
didn’t,” said Jenny, hurriedly stepping back. 
“If you would kindly open it, so that we could 
drink the milk, we should be so grateful.” 

The Master Don gave the cocoanut one tap 
on the end of his sharp tusk and handed it, with a 
neat round hole punched in the middle, to Jenny. 

“ Now, if you will excuse me,” he said, “ I 
will go to sleep.” 

“Certainly,” said Walter. “I hope we have 
not been keeping you awake all this time. Do 

you always sleep in the middle of the day?” 

106 


THE MASTER DON 

“ In the holidays I do,” said the Master Don. 



HE TOOK UP A COCOANUT AND THUMPED HIS 
HEAD WITH IT 


“ I begin to sleep 
finish about sunrise 


each day about 
in the morning.” 


107 


noon, 


and 







WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“What a long sleep!” exclaimed Jenny. 

“ I sleep very slowly,” said the Master Don. 

“ I don’t quite understand.” 

“Well, when you are very tired and go to 
bed, what do you do ? ” 

“I go fast asleep,” said Jenny. 

“Just so. Well, as I am not at all tired in 
the holidays, I go slow asleep; so it takes a 
long time. Now you understand.” 

He got up heavily, and, leaning against a 
stout palm-tree, began to snore, paying no 
attention to the cocoanuts which came tumbling 
down upon him from the shock. 

“You haven’t told us the way to Hollow- 
Tree House yet, please,” cried Walter. 

“Oh no; no more I have,” said the Master 
Don, without opening his eyes. 

“Well, won’t you please tell us, and we won’t 
bother you any more?” 

“Yes, yes,” answered the Master Don 
sleepily. “Go up to the very top of that tall 
tree over there, turn to the right and keep 
straight on.” 

“Does he think we are monkeys?” asked 
Jenny in despair. 


108 


THE MASTER DON 


The Master Don was now sound asleep 
his snores shook the earth, and every snore 
brought down a shower of cocoanuts, so that 



EVERY SNORE BROUGHT DOWN A SHOWER OF COCOANUTS 

the children had to walk farther away for fear 
of being hurt. 

“Come along, Jen,” said Walter, turning 

away, “we must go and look for some other 

creature who will tell us the way. We shall 

109 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


find it somehow. Don’t cry, dear,” for Jenny 
was beoinninof to sob a little. 

o o 

They walked towards the tall tree to which 
the Elephant had pointed with his trunk, 
Walter with his arm round his sister to com¬ 
fort her. Suddenly Jenny choked down her 
sobs and broke from his arm, clapping her 
hands. “ O Wally, how silly we are! The 
Master Don said, ‘ Go to the top of the tree 
and turn.to the right.’ Well, if we just go to 
the foot of the tree and turn to the right we 
shall go the*same way, shan’t we?” 

“ Why, of course ! ” exclaimed Walter. “ I 
never thought of that. It was stupid.” 

They reached the foot of the tree, and sure 
enough, when they had walked for only two 
minutes to the right, they saw the garden gate 
of Hollow-Tree House. 


1 io 


CHAPTER VII 


BY TRAIN TO 50,000 YEARS AGO 






























CHAPTER VII 


BY TRAIN TO 50,000 YEARS AGO 

T HEY found Mrs. Bates enjoying a sun¬ 
bath on the garden path. When she saw 
them she sat up, and after staring for a 
minute said, “ Why, you have come back alive! ” 
“ Did you expect us to come back dead ? ” 
laughed Walter. 

“Certainly, if you came back at all,” said 
Mrs. Bates in an offended tone. “ It’s ex¬ 
tremely awkward, I must say.” 

“Why?” asked Jenny, who was a good 
deal surprised at her manner. 

“ Why! Because we called a scientific meet¬ 
ing last night to discuss your fate, and decided 
— that Mackie Rodus would kill you both; 
that he would eat you both; and that there¬ 
fore neither of you would return alive.” 

“Well, you see we have returned alive,” 
said Walter, “and rather hungry.” 

1 13 H 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“That’s just what annoys me so,” said 
Mrs. Bates. “We may be behind the times— 
we are behind your times—but we do respect 
the decisions of science. It has been decided 
at a scientific meeting that you are dead. 
What is to be done ? ” 

“ Hold another, and decide we’re not,” sug¬ 
gested Walter. 

“Of course /” cried Mrs. Bates, looking 
quite pleased. “What could be more scien¬ 
tific than to decide that what was proved 
right yesterday is wrong to-day? We’ll hold 
a meeting this minute.” 

She ran into the house and called Mr. Bates, 
who answered from the chimney, where he had 
gone when he heard the garden gate slam. They 
began the meeting at once ; the children could 
tell that by the storm of chattering, but their 
voices were so high that it was plain some 
difficulty had arisen. Presently Mr. Bates came 
to the door and asked very earnestly— 

“ Can you give any scientific reason why 
Mackie Rodus did not eat you ? ” 

“ I expect he had something he liked better,” 

said Walter, rather impatiently. 

114 





BY TRAIN TO 50,000 YEARS AGO 


Mr. Bates considered this reason for some 
minutes, resting a hand on each door-post ; 
then nodding his head gravely he went in 
again. 

“I wish they would be quick,” said Jenny; 
“ I want my dinner.” 

1 here was a little more chattering and then 
calls for Ann and McAcus. After a long silence 
a sudden burst of cheering and clapping rose, 
and Mr. and Mrs. Bates came running out 
with their arms in the air, radiant with smiles 
of welcome. 

“ Come in, come in, dears! ” they cried. “ We 
never never dared hope to see you alive again. 
Oh, what a won -derful escape you have had! 
Come along in to dinner at once.” 

“You are quite sure now we are alive?” 
said Jenny mischievously. 

“ Oh, quite,” answered Mrs. Bates as they 
went into the house. “ I am very sorry we 
were so long over the meeting. To tell you 
the truth, the matter was a very weighty one : 
it was all Mr. Bates could do to move the 
resolution, and we had to get Ann and McAcus 
to help before we could carry it.” 

ii5 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


While the children ate their dinner they 
had to tell Mr. and Mrs. Bates about their 
visit to Mr. Mackie Rodus. It had never 
seemed to them while at the Den that they 
were in any danger, but what they heard now 
made Jenny at least declare she would never 
go near the Tiger or his house again. 

“ Belonged to a dear friend of his! ” said 
Mr. Bates when Walter told him about those 
splendid antlers ; “ a friend who got killed out 
hunting! My dear, Mackie Rodus with his 
own teeth and claws killed the owner of those 
antlers: those bones outside his cave are all 
the bones of creatures he has killed.” 

“What a horrible brute!” said Walter. 

“Just to mention a very few of my own 
acquaintances,” continued Mr. Bates, “a very 
few who have been killed quite recently. There 
was a brother-in-law of Hipparion ; as nice a 
creature as ever you met in your life. Mackie 
Rodus asked him to go and taste the grass 
among the rocks near the Den, then lay in 
wait and sprang out and killed him the moment 
he came,” 

“ Then he is a sneak,” said Walter. 

116 


BY TRAIN TO 50,000 YEARS AGO 


“He is. A day or two after he killed 

McAcus’s aunt, a poor old body who wouldn’t 
hurt a kitten. Mackie Rodus came upon her 
drinking at the stream one evening and bit 
her head off.” 

“What a fearful savage!” said Walter. 

“Yes; and then he went and said he did 
it in fun! The fact is his character is so 

bad that only really great people can have 
anything to do with him ; and even they fight 
rather shy of him.” 

“ I heard him tell Mr. Sam O’Therium last 
night that he had had dinner, so Mr. Sam 
might feel safe,” said Walter. “ I didn’t know 

exactly what he meant, but of course I see 

now.” 

“You must never go near him again,” said 
Mrs. Bates, forgetting how she had urged them 
to go to supper and stay the night. “What 
1 can’t understand *is why you didn’t follow 
us up the wall when he came yesterday: we 
expected you to come the moment we shouted 
‘ Not at home.’ ” 

“We didn’t come because we couldn’t.” said 
Walter. He was a good climber, but it was 

117 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


absurd to suppose that he, to say nothing of 
Jenny, could have followed the Bateses up the 
wall. 

“I am afraid,” said Mr. Bates, “that you 
don’t practise your gymnastics.” 

“ I don’t practise regularly,” Walter con¬ 
fessed, “because there is only a swing and a 
pair of rings at home; but I’m awfully fond 
of doing gymnastics. I can walk on the 
parallel bars and hang by my knees.” 

“ That’s very good as far as it goes,” said 
Mr. Bates; “but young people don’t seem to 
be what they were in my time. When I 
was a mere child I could swino- from one 

o 

end of the wood to the other and back aofain 
by my hands. The Master Don was very 
strict with us; we were not allowed to move 
up in the school at all until we had passed 
in gymnastics.” 

“Did you have an exam, in gymnastics?” 
asked Walter eagerly. “ You must have got 
good marks for it, I should think.” 

“I never got any marks myself,” said Mr. 

Bates; “but then I was naturally good at it. 

I remember that a cousin of Ann Thropithecus, 

118 


BY TRAIN TO 50,000 YEARS AGO 

a clay scholar, did so badly that the Master 
Don put him over his tusk and whipped him 
severely ; he kept the marks for days.” 

“It was a different kind of marks I meant,” 
said Walter. 

“We only knew one kind,” said Mr. Bates; 
“ but things have changed since I was at 
school. Whatever the new way of marking 
may be doesn’t matter a bit. What I say is, 
that there is nothing so important to our 
family as gymnastics, and I wouldn’t allow any 
child of mine to go out in the world to find 
his living till he had passed. I shouldn’t care 
if he knew every leaf in the forest by heart ; 
he could never get on in life unless he was 
good at gymnastics.” 

“ I am sure Mackie Rodus would have killed 
us both over and over again if we had not 
been at home on any bough in the forest,” 
said Mrs. Bates. “Gymnastics first, / say,” and 
she looked very hard at Jenny. 

“ Ought I to learn gymnastics as well as 
Walter?” asked Jenny. 

“ Dorit you learn ? ” 

Bates in shocked tones. 

11 9 


asked Mr. and Mrs. 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“I—I’m very fond of climbing trees,” said 
Jenny, who only confessed this to people she 
knew very well indeed. 

“ Of course you are : you would not be 
like your family if you were not. What would 
your mamma say if you couldn’t follow her up 
a tree and swinQf from branch to branch ? ” 

Both Jenny and Walter burst out laughing. 
The idea of Mother, dear stout Mother scram¬ 
bling up a tree and swinging by her hands 
like the Bateses was so funny they couldn’t 
help it; they laughed till the tears ran down 
their cheeks. 

“Well?” said Mrs. Bates. “What is so 
amusing ? ” 

“ Mother doesn’t climb trees ! ” crowed Walter. 
“ Oh my ! Think of Mummy climbing a tree ! ” 
and he and Jenny went off into another fit. 

“ Then your mother is not an ape,” said 
Mrs. Bates, in the tone she might have said 
“ She is not nice.” 

“ No, certainly she isn’t,” cried both children. 

“Then you are not apes either,” said Mrs. 
Bates, in a voice which meant “You can’t pos¬ 
sibly be respectable.” 


BY TRAIN TO 50,000 YEARS AGO 

“ Of course we’re not,” said Walter. 

Mr. and Mrs. Bates sat back and looked 
at one another gloomily. 

“ We have been deceived by the ex-tra-or- 
din-ary likeness,” said Mr. Bates at last. He 



MR. MACK IE RODUS WAS AT THE GATE 


looked from Jenny to his wife, and back 

again. Jenny made a little face. 

At this moment a tremendous roar was 

heard outside, and Ann fell into the room 

crying that Mr. Mackie Rodus was at the 

gate. Mr. and Mrs. Bates nearly fell off 

121 




WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


their chairs, and their faces turned from the 
colour of india-rubber to a dusky yellow. 

“ If the Tiger roars again,” said Walter, 
“ it will frighten them into the middle of next 
week.” 

Mrs. Bates heard him, and sprang up 
eagerly. 

“No!” she cried, “not the middle of next 
week. Let’s go back to the middle of last: 
we were safe then, and one never knows what 
may happen.” 

A curious giddy feeling came over Walter; 
he felt Jenny clinging to his arm, and heard 
Mr. and Mrs. Bates chattering beside him. 
The room began to spin slowly round, and 
as it spun it grew larger and darker, and 
the roof filled with fc>£. The voice of Mrs. 
Bates sounded small and thin, like a cat mew¬ 
ing in a railway station. Then there was a 
rush of air, a rattle and a roar, and a big 
voice shouted: “ This way to the trains for 
next week and up-line stations ; to the left for 
last week and down!” A crowd of strange 
animals swept them along towards the train for 

last week. Dimly Walter saw the Master Don, 

122 



A CROWD OF STRANGE ANIMALS SWEPT THEM ALONG 




































BY TRAIN TO 50,000 YEARS AGO 


Sam, a stag with great spreading horns, and 
a perfect host of creatures he had not seen 
before; the girders above were thronged with 
monkeys, and he caught a glimpse of Ann 
with flying cap-strings, and McAcus in his 
Tam-o’-Shanter. 

“Take your seats, pleeease! ” and somehow 
Walter found himself in a carriage alone with 
Jenny. 

“Are we all right for last week?” cried 
Walter to an old monkey who looked in as 
he passed. 

“ Right away! ” shouted the old monkey. 
“ It’s the Express, and doesn’t stop for fifty 
thousand years. No more passengers ! Right l- 
away.” 

Every creature on the platform blew a 
whistle, and the train shot out of the station 
as though it had been fired from a gun. 

“ What a long tunnel it is,” said Walter 
after a minute: the train was flying along so 
fast that it seemed not to touch the rails, 
and so smoothly that the windows didn’t 
even rattle. 

“ I should think it was the Underground 

i 2 3 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


Railway in London,” said Jenny, “ only it’s 
faster, and not so noisy and dirty. You re¬ 
member going in the Underground that day 
we went with father to the Museum, Wally?” 

“ I wonder how lone it will be before we 
get there?” said Walter. “Mr. Bates said we 
had come forty - seven thousand years and 
more to see them ; and we walked and rode 
Hipparion; and that didn’t take long. We 
ought to arrive soon, I expect.” 

As he spoke the train began to move more 
slowly; the darkness became sunshine, and 
looking out of the window the children saw it 
was passing through what seemed to be a 
park, only the trees were different from those 
they knew best. Then the motion stopped 
altogether and the children found themselves 
seated on a bank, with no smn of a train or 
a railway left except a faint cloud of smoke 
floating off overhead. 


CHAPTER VIII 


TOMMY THERIUM AND BRONTOPS 



CHAPTER VIII 


TOMMY THERIUM AND BRONTOPS 

C ONSIDERING that we hadn’t any 

tickets,” said Jenny, dreamily watching 
the last wreath of smoke melt away in 
the air, “or any money except a shilling 
and some pennies, it’s lucky we got out 
of the train like this; but the luggage has 

gone on.” 

“Wake up, Jen!” laughed Walter; “we 
hadn’t any luggage at all.” 

Jenny started and drew a long breath. “Oh, 
no more we had,” she said. “ But, Wally, I 
wonder what the name of this place is. I 

think it’s prettier than the last country, but 

it’s very smothery-feeling.” 

“ It reminds me of Lord Gatwick’s big 
conserv’t’ry,” said Walter. “ Look at the trees 
and things.” 

“ Perhaps we’re in India,” suggested Jenny. 

127 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ It’s rather like the pictures of India—or 
South America.” 

“We couldn’t go by train to India or 
America, Jen, you silly. I vote we go and 
look for some creature who can tell us where 
we are.” 

Jenny agreed, and they strolled away, wander¬ 
ing in and out among clumps and patches 
of great ferns and creepers. There were no 
animals to be seen about ; but crossing a bit 
of soft ground they saw deep footmarks such 
as an elephant might leave. 

“There’s something up there in that tree,” 
said Walter. “We’ll go and see what it is.” 

The something was a pretty little animal 
rather like a monkey, but with short legs and 
a head more like that of a squirrel than an 
ape. When it saw the children it sat up 
on its hind legs and stared down at them 
with its paws held like a begging dog. 

“Guess you’re strangers here?” it said in 
a friendly tone. 

“Yes, we are,” began Walter. “We onlv 
arrived about half-an-hour ago, I should think.” 

“ And where did you come from ? ” 

128 


TOMMY THERIUM AND BRONTOPS 


“A place fifty thousand years from here,” 
said Jenny, as Walter hesitated; “and please 
can you tell us what this place is ? ” 

The little animal opened its eyes wide. 
“You mean to say you don’t know where 
you are ?” 

“We haven’t the least idea,” said Jenny. 

“Wal, where did you book to before you 
got on the cars ? Where did you take tickets 
for ? ” 

“We didn’t take tickets for anywhere.” 

“ Wal, if you didn’t take tickets for any¬ 
where, you wouldn’t expect to be set down 

anywhere, would you ? ” 

“ But we were set down,” said Walter. 

“Of course you were, or you wouldn’t be 
here. This isn’t anywhere that I know of. 

Now you understand?” 

“ I don’t understand a bit,” said Walter. 

“ I’ll try and make it clearer for you,” said 
the little creature, jumping lightly on to a 
lower bough and sitting up again. “ Now 
you’ll hear me better.” It raised its fore¬ 
paws, and told off the points on its long 

fingers one by one. 

129 


1 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ If you didn’t book to anywhere you wouldn’t 
get to anywhere, because not anywhere is 
nowhere, and nowhere is where you would 
get to, not having taken tickets to anywhere; 
and this, as I said before, not being anywhere, 
it’s nowhere, and so you came hither, that is 
nowhere, whither you booked. I think that's 
plain.” 

“ / don’t,” said Walter; then, feeling that 
this was rude, he added : “ But I am very much 
obliged to you all the same.” 

“ Look here,” said the little animal, jump¬ 
ing down to a bough on a level with Walter’s 
face, “ I’ll try and make it still clearer-” 

“ Oh please don’t trouble,” said both children 
together. “ It’s very kind indeed of you ; but 
you really mustn’t trouble.” 

“ It’s no trouble, I assure you. I do all 

the explaining for the folks down here.” 

“Do you really?” said Jenny, thinking 
what a dreadful muddle the folks down here 
must £et into. 

“ I do really. I do all his thinking for 
Brontops.” 

“ Who is Brontops?” asked Walter. 

130 



TOMMY THERIUM AND BRONTOPS 


“ He is one of the greatest people in these 
parts. I am his Head Secretary. He can’t 



“ I DO ALL THE EXPLAINING FOR THE FOLKS 

DOWN HERE” 


do without me; gets into an awful, mess if 
I leave him for a single day.” 

I 3 I 



























WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ Then he must be in a mess now,” said Jenny. 

“ I guess he is. He wanted me to work 
out of hours without extra wages; so I left 
him to see how he could get on without me.” 

“ What did he want you to do ? ” asked 
Walter. 

“He asked me if I didn’t think it was cold 
last night—as if one could stay up all night 
to think if it were cold or not! ” 

“ I don’t think one need sit up all night 
to know that” said Jenny. 

“You must if you mean to do your work 
properly,” said the little animal, with a know¬ 
ing air. 

“Have you resigned your situation then?” 
asked Walter. 

“ I resign it about twice a week on the 
average. Brontops always asks me to come 
back.” 

“You’d better take care he doesn’t get a 
new Head Secretary,” said Jenny. 

“ There’s no fear of that. Indeed I find 
the only way to keep the situation is to re¬ 
sign it very often. I made up some poetry 
about that.” 


1 3 2 



TOMMY THERIUM AND BRONTOPS 


“ Did you ?” asked Jenny. 

I will repeat it to you ; then we will go 
and enjoy ourselves. I know exactly where 
to look for Brontops.” 

“Is that the way you enjoy yourself?’ 
asked Jenny. 

“Yes, always when I’ve resigned. We’re 
sure to find him in the most awfiil mess.” 

Jenny thought he was rather a spiteful 
little creature, although he had been so polite 
to them ; but it was not her business to tell 
him that, so she waited for him to repeat his 
poetry. Here it is :— 

“Though Brontops is so very large and strong, 

He never thinks, because to think would weary ’uni ; 

It’s well to leave him sometimes to go wrong, 

For then he values little Tommy Therium.” 

“You are Tommy Therium?” said Walter. 

“ I am. But there’s another verse, even better 
than that.” 

“ It must be very clever then,” said Jenny. 

“You’re right! I believe you’d like to 
hear it ? ” 

The children said they should like to hear 
it very much, so Tommy drew himself up 

x 33 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


and repeated it, marking all the important 
words with a wave of his paw. 

“In all the land there’s no one really nice, 

From Squalodon to Microsyops, my brother, 

But asks for Tommy Therium’s advice, 

Sees that he gets it, and will take no other.” 

“That is very good,” said Jenny. 

“Yes. When I have an idea I am going 
to make up another verse.” 

“Who is Squalodon?” asked Walter. 

“He is very like a whale,” replied Tommy. 
“ I don't see much of him because he lives 
in the sea a good long way from here. 
Microsyops isn’t really my brother: he’s my 
cousin. He’s most awfully proud because I 
put him in as my brother; didn’t see, you 
know, that ‘cousin’ wouldn’t rhyme with ‘other,’ 
so that I had to do it.” 

He stooped, picked something out of the 
bark at his feet, and ate it thoughtfully. Then 
he jumped off the bough, gave himself a 
shake, and said, “Come along; we’ll go and 
look for old Brontops. You shall each hold 
one of my hands if you are good ” 

He took his place between them, took a 

1 34 


TOMMY THERIUM AND BRONTOPS 


hand of each, and throwing himself forward, 
said, “Let’s run!” 1 he children, to please 
him, ran as fast as they could, and Tommy, 
resting all his weight on their hands, jumped 



i, 

; j a% 

I - 1 

TOMMY RESTING ALL HIS WEIGHT ON THEIR HANDS 

along with great strides, chuckling with delight. 
At last he lifted his feet from the ground so 
that they carried him, when he looked up in 
their faces, shouting with laughter. 

135 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“What a baby you are!’’ said Jenny as 
they stopped running. 

“ I am very light-hearted when I have 
resigned/ said Tommy. “Whoa! Stop!’’ 

“What is it?” asked Walter. 

“You see that?” said the cheerful little 
creature, withdrawing his hand from Walter’s 
and pointing to great deep footmarks on the 
ground. “ Brontops made these footsteps. 
Brontops, you see, has already taken steps to 
get me back.” 

“ But they go in quite the wrong direction,” 
said Jenny; “the toe-marks show he was 
going away from your tree, not towards it.” 

“That’s why I know he took those steps 
to get me back,” said Tommy; “ told you he 
always went wrong when I am not by to 
think for him. Stop!!” He drew his hand 
from Jenny’s, pressed his forehead, and sank 
down on his haunches. 

“What is the matter?” asked Jenny. 

Tommy did not answer; he kept one hand 
to his brow, and shook the other at her while 
he rocked to and fro, seeming in great pain. 

“It’s coming!” he said at last. “I feel it 

136 


TOMMY THERIUM AND BRONTOPS 


boiling and bubbling and rising and—here it is ! 
Here it is!! Hold my hand, please! Now — 

“You never want the thing you’ve always got— 

The thing you want is what you cannot get; 

Not till you lose the thing you wanted not, 

It proves the thing on which your heart was set.” 

“ That’s Brontops thinking of his lost 
Secretary ; but it will do for many other 
things. Do you ever make poetry?” he added 
to Jenny; his eyes were still rolling wildly. 

“ No, never,” answered Jenny. 

“Then you-don’t know how dreadful it is 
to feel you must make poetry when you 
haven’t an idea what to make it of.” 

“ I shouldn’t try, I think,” said Jenny. 

“But you should try: ‘try, try again,’you 
know.” 

“ Suppose we go and look for Mr. Brontops,” 
said Walter, who thought that Tommy talked 
a oreat deal of nonsense. 

O 

The little creature was certainly very good- 
tempered ; the moment Walter spoke, he 
stopped and led the way along the foot¬ 
prints. They had not gone far when Tommy 
paused and pointed to something in front. 

137 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“Now what should you say that was?” 
he asked. 

He pointed to something which looked like 
a heap of mud in the long grass; but when 
you looked carefully you saw a pig-like tail 
fidgeting at one end, and could make out 
the shape of an animal: a rhinoceros, or some¬ 
thing of that kind. Walter looked for a 
minute or two, and said it was a rhinoceros 
which had been buried in mud and dug up 
again. 

“You’re nearly right,” said Tommy. “That’s 
Brontops. Didn’t I tell you he got into a mess 
when I resigned ? and did you ever in all 
your life see any creature in such a fearful 
mess ? He’s been wallowing in mud, you know ; 
that’s what he always does : wallows in mud all 
day, and comes home in such a state that 
I think he must go and bathe in the river.” 

“And does he always go?” asked Jenny. 

“ Usually,” answered Tommy. “ He almost 
always does what I think he ought to. Come 
and I will introduce you both, and then you 
ought to go and call at the Lair; that’s where 
Brontops lives.” 


133 


TOMMY THERIUM AND BRONTOPS 


“ I should be very pleased indeed,” said 
Jenny; “but do you think Mr. Brontops 
would like us to see him in that state ? I 
didn’t understand that you meant he got into 
a muddy mess, and really and truly, you know, 
he’s dreadfully dirty.” 

“ I think he ought to have a bath at once,” 
said Tommy briskly. “ You sit down here 
and wait.” 

They sat down, while the little creature 

went to Brontops and spoke to him. Muddy 
as he was, the children could see that the 

huge beast was very stupid - looking ; as 

Walter said, there was no room in his head 

for any brains at all ; and he could not be 
very wise, or he would not allow Tommy to 
order him about as he did. When told that 
he ought to go and bathe, he stared for a 
minute, and then rolled heavily away round 

a little hillock, followed by his Secretary. 

The river was close by, for the children 
could hear the splashing as he walked into 

the water. 

“ Let us go and see him bathing,” said 

Walter. 


139 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


Brontops was standing deep in the water, 
and Tommy was directing him from the bank. 

£ ‘ I think I should go in a little farther,” 
he said, and Brontops went in a little farther. 

“ I think it would be nice and cool to sit 
down,” he went on, and Brontops sat down, 
while Tommy giggled. “ Oh do look at the 
state of the water ; he was in a mess.” 

“I think I should wash my neck,” he said; 
and Brontops soused his head in the water 
as deep as he could reach. 

“ Now I think I should come out and get 
dry.” 

His appearance was much improved by 
his bath, but still he was not a handsome 
animal : he was very amiable, though, and 
asked them to come and stay with him at 
the Lair 


140 



TOMMY DIRECTING BRONTOPS FROM THE BANK 


























CHAPTER IX 


BRONTOPS AND DINO THERIUM 











\ 












CHAPTER IX 


BRONTOPS AND DINO THERIUM 


W HAT a lovely place for a pic-nic! ” 
Jenny exclaimed when she saw the 
Lair; “one would only have to clear 
out those loose thorns and things and it would 
be a perfect summer-house.” 

It was a capital place: a deep cosy nook 
among thick bushes which met overhead, and 
gave plenty of shade without making it too 


dark. 

“ 1 haven’t the sense to clear out the rubbish,” 
said Brontops, sighing ; “I wish I had.” 

“ It wouldn’t take a minute,” said Jenny. 

“ I’m afraid I’m too lazy,” he said. “ I’ve 
nothing in the world to do, and it keeps me 
as lazy as can be all day.” 

“Do you mean ‘busy’?” asked Walter, 
thinking he had not heard rightly. 

“Some people would say ‘busy,’ no doubt; 

143 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


/ always tell the truth;” he spoke with a 
sorrowful air of pride; “and I tell you I am 
too lazy.” 

“Ah!” said Tommy, wagging his head 
gravely, “if only there were more people like 
him.” 

“ I don’t think it would be at all a orood 

o 

thing,” said Jenny. “Lazy people without any 
sense can’t be very useful.” 

“Why, the Living World is full of them!” 
said Tommy, “only they say ‘I haven’t the 
time,’ and ‘ I’m too busy,’ instead of telling 
the truth like Brontops. Wait till you’re a 
bit older and you’ll see.” 

“ If you are only lazy enough,” said Brontops, 
sinking on his knees and sprawling out like 
an immense pig, “other folks will do the 
things they think you ought to do. I’ve tried 
it, and I know.” 

“ Theres honesty!” said Tommy. 

“ Other folks don’t think very much of people 
like that,” said Walter. 

“I suppose not,” said Brontops; “but I 
haven’t the sense to care what other folks 
think.” 


1 44 


BRONTOPS AND D1NO THERIUM 


“ I don’t suppose,” said Tommy ; “I do not 
suppose that you’d find a creature with less 
sense than Brontops if you hunted for years.” 

“ Bron-AV<?//-BRON- Fops!” called a deep voice 
outside. 

“ That’s his friend Dino Therium,” said the 
Secretary. “We always call him Dino. I’ll 
go out and bring him in.” 

Dino was an animal rather larger than 
Brontops; his body and legs were like those 
of an elephant, and he had a trunk many 
sizes too small for him ; the strangest thing 
about him was the great pair of tusks which 
came from his chin and curved downwards. 
He was a queer-looking creature, but there 
was a brightness in his eye and a quickness 
in his way of moving which showed he wasn’t 
either stupid or lazy. He shook hands with 
his trunk, told the children he was very glad 
to see them, and then turned to Brontops. 

“You are filling the whole house, you lazy 
fellow,” he said. 

Brontops did not answer; he only grunted. 

“ We will put him on one side; he’ll do 
nicely to sit on if he’s clean,” said Dino. 

T 45 K- 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ He’s just had a bath,” said Tommy ; “ 1 
thought he should have one.” 

Dino took a step back and looked at 
Brontops. “ I can manage it,” he remarked 



HE SHOOK HANDS WITH HIS TRUNK 


to himself; and turning his tail towards his 

friend, he set to work to kick him. They 

were truly terrible kicks ; each one set 

Brontops, big as he was, quivering like a 

146 












DINO, TURNING HIS TAIL TOWARDS HIS FRIEND, SET TO WORK 

TO KICK HIM 







BRONTOPS AND DINO THERIUM 


jelly. At last he could stand it no longer 
and began to get up. No sooner had he 
raised his forequarters than Dino spun round 
and, lowering his head, butted him on the 
shoulder like a bull, knocking Brontops right 
up against the bushes, where he lay. 

“As I said before,” remarked Brontops. 
stretching his head out again, “if you’re 
only lazy enough, other folks will do for 
you what they think you ought to do for 
yourself.” 

“ I shall always be happy to do that for 
you,” said Dino cheerfully. “You’ll die of 
laziness before you are much older, Brontops.” 

“You are the best friend I’ve got. Dino,” 
said Brontops sleepily. 

“ He sometimes says things that make me 
feel really uneasy about my situation,” said 
Tommy in a low voice. “That sounded just 
like sense, and-” 

“It was sense,” said Walter. 

“—And if he grows sensible he won’t 
want any one to think for him,” added Tommy 
dismally. 

“ It’s sad to see a creature go on like 

147 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


this,” said Dino, sitting down heavily on 
his friend’s hind leg. “If he would only try 
and improve! Like me,” and he put on an 
air of smug conceit that made Jenny long 
to stick a pin in him. 

“ Have you taken such great pains to 
improve ? ’ she asked. 

“ I have been Nature’s most obedient child. 
On hot days I splash in the shallows, and 
dig water-weeds with my tusks ; or I wallow 
—like our friend here : an overcoat of cool 
mud is a comfortable thing to wear on hot 
days. In cold weather I stand among the 
rocks and bask in the sun—in short, I make 
a point of doing exactly what I like best.” 

“Is that obeying Nature?” asked Jenny. 

“Certainly it is.” 

“Then can you explain why I usually get 
a licking if I do exactly what I like best?” 
asked Walter. 

Tommy pricked up his ears at the word 
“explain” and began to clear his throat; 
but the children wouldn’t look at him. Dino 
sucked the tip of his trunk thoughtfully; at 
last he said— 


148 





BRONTOPS AND DINO THERIUM 


“You don’t live in the State of Nature; 
your clothes are not Natural, and your hair 
isn’t Natural.’ 1 

“We don’t live in a state of Nature,” said 
Walter. “ Birds and wild animals live in a 
state of Nature.” 

“Ah! That’s it, you see. As you don't 
live in the State of Nature you don’t obey 
the laws of Nature, but some others I don’t 
know anything about. What Nature would 
think quite right—like wallowing in mud on 
a hot day—your father or mother might think 
wrong—if you had on your best clothes.” 

“ I’m sure it would be wrong, and I’m 
sure Wally would be punished if he did it,” 
said Jenny. 

Dino leaned back and looked at the children’s 
clothes for some time without speaking. At 
last he said— 

“ You know, I can’t see why your clothes 
are made like that. You ought to wear suits 
of plain blacking leather—without any blacking, 
of course—something that’s not easily seen 
when you have to hide.” 

“ Why should we hide at all ? ” asked Walter. 

149 







WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


Dino was evidently surprised at the question ; 
he looked puzzled, and said half aloud— 

“ They can’t climb; they can’t run fast; 
they can’t bite with those teeth, and their 
claws are not proper claws at all. They must 
hide when stronger animals chase them.” 

“We don’t hide,” said Walter proudly. 
“ Man rules all the creatures in the Living 
World.” 

“Well, I don’t want to be rude,” said Dino, 
“ but if that’s the case, the creatures in the 
Living World must be an uncommon poor 
lot.” 

“ I don’t think they are,” said Walter ; “ the 
Elephant isn’t quite as big as the Master 
Don, but men catch Elephants and tame 
them and make them work.” 

Dino put the tip of his little trunk in his 
mouth and thought for a bit. 

“ I’d like to know how it’s done,” he said. 

“ Men are ever so much cleverer than 
animals,” said Walter. 

“Brains!” put in Tommy, who thought he 
had been left out of the conversation too 
long already. “How do I fix up things for 

* 5 ° 


BRONTOPS AND DINO THERIUM 


Brontops ? Brains! Explain things ? Brains 
again! I am the weakest creature going, but 
my brains save me.” 

“You can climb,” said Dino. “He can’t,” 
with a sidelong nod at Walter. 

“He is cleverer than me to make up 
for it.” 

“ That may be,” said Dino. “ Indeed I 
think it’s very likely. But what I say is, I 
don’t see how a creature like him can rule 
other creatures, unless the other creatures are 
uncommon poor creatures.” 

“ I guess I will explain it,” said Tommy. 
“It can be done by arithmetic.” 

“ There you go with your long words,” 
groaned Dino. “.Some day I’ll slip one round 
your neck and choke you with it.” 

“ The question is, Do you want to under¬ 
stand how man rules all creatures, or do you 
not ? ” said Tommy. 

“Yes, I do; but I hate arithmetic because 
it’s so dull : you always know what’s coming 
next.” 

“ Not as I do arithmetic,” said Tommy. “ I 
only use figures of speech—not common figures ; 

1 5 i 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


and I never know myself how a sum will 
come out.” 

Walter and Jenny did not know what 
Tommy meant, and they thought that Dino 
did not either; it was quite simple, however. 
This was the way Tommy’s explanation went, 
as far as he was allowed to give it — 

“ It’s very hard, explaining such 
A matter as we speak about; 

But I shall simplify it much 

By leaving all the grammar out. 

It seems to me the Rule of Three 
Will guide us to the end we seek ; 

If set to music it will be 
Fit for the table in a week.” 

“ Isn’t there something not quite right about 
that ? ” asked Walter. 

“Three, be; seek, week. It rhymes all 
right, doesn’t it ? ” 

“It didn’t seem to mean anything.” 

“ It’s made up of figures of speech used in 
versely,” said Tommy ; “surely you can under¬ 
stand that.” 

“ I’m afraid I don’t,” said Walter. 

“ I really don't see your difficulty. I said, 

T 52 



BRONTOPS AND DINO THERIUM 


‘ if set to music ’ ; I didn’t say you must set 
the Rule of Three to music, but if you did 
it, it would be ready for the table in a 
week.” 

“ But who on earth is going to eat the Rule 
of Three ? ” asked Walter. 

“ Nobody that I know of. Who said any¬ 
thing about eating it?” 

“You did. You said ‘fit for the table.’” 
“Good gracious! don’t you do anything at 
the table but eat ? Do you never do sums 
nor learn lessons at the table ? ” 

“Of course I do, but-” 

“ Exactly. Well if you set the Rule of Three 
to music it would be much easier to learn, 
and so be fit to learn much sooner. Now let 
me get on, please. 

*• If I am cleverer than you, 

And he is cleverer than me, 

It is an easy thing to do 

To find the wisest of the three. 

And being found, the case stands thus:— 

As I lead Brontops by the nose, 

The Elephant he named to us 
Obeys the wisest beast it knows.” 

153 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ Man isn’t usually called a beast,” said 
Walter. 

“ Never mind; we’ll call him one for a 
change,” said Dino. “ I dare say our little 
friend has made the matter clear to you; I 
hope so, at any rate, for I don’t understand it 
any better myself.” 

“ I haven’t finished yet,” said Tommy. 

“ I don’t suppose you have,” said Dino. 
“When you explain a thing it generally takes 
a whole day.” 

“And this,” said Tommy, throwing up his 
eyes, “is all the thanks I get!” 

“ No, no. We are very much obliged to 
you,” cried the children ; “ it was very clever 
and interesting.” 

Tommy laid his right paw on his heart, 
held out his long bushy tail with his left, 
took three mincing steps to the right and 
bowed deeply. Then hastily passing his tail 
into his right paw he laid his left on his 
heart, took three little steps, sideways, back 
again, and bowed once more. 

“You are most kind,” he said very gravely. 


1 54 


CHAPTER X 


THE TINJENS FAMILY 



CHAPTER X 


THE TINJENS FAMILY 

B RON TO PS had been sleeping so peace¬ 
fully while all the talk was going on 
that it was quite a surprise when, in 
the middle of a dead silence, he woke up 
and said suddenly— 

“ I was going to say, only I fell asleep by 
mistake, would my young friends from the 
Living World care to come for a Dream 
with me ? ” 

Walter looked at Jenny and hesitated: he 
had never been asked to “go for a dream ” 
before, and couldn’t think what Brontops 
meant. Jenny looked at Tommy, thinking he 
might be trusted to seize this chance of 
explaining something; but he didn’t seem to 
understand that any explanation was wanted, 
for he only smiled pleasantly at her and 
began to clean his paws. 

157 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“Thanks very much,” said Walter; “but 
how can we do that ? ” 

Brontops raised his head a little and stared 
at Walter. He was evidently offended. 

“ When anybody says to you, ‘ I will take 
you for a little walk,’ do you always answer, 
‘How can we do that?’” he inquired. 

“ No, of course not; but then I understand 
going for a walk, and I never even heard 
of going for a dream with anybody.” 

Tommy now saw that there was a chance 
of explaining. He sat up on his hind legs, 
thrust out his right paw and began to snap 
his fingers, crying, “ Me, Sir! I know, Sir! 
Please let me tell, Sir! Me, Sir! I know, 
Sir!” like a boy half-way down the class 
when the fellows above him can’t answer a 
question. 

“Well, you?” said Brontops in the tone 
of a schoolmaster. 

“When somebody in the Living World,” 
began Tommy, “says ‘I will take you for a 
walk,’ he walks, and you walk with him 
the way he walks. When Mr. Brontops takes 
you for a dream,. he dreams, and you dream 

153 


THE TINJENS FAMILY 


with him the way he dreams. It’s quite simple ; 
the thing is done every day.” 

c; It isn’t,” said Brontops shortly. 

“When I say ‘it’s done every day,’ I mean 
it isn’t,” said Tommy, “just as you say ‘it 
rained every day,’ when it didn’t.” 

“ It’s a great honour,” said Brontops sulkily. 

“He only takes visitors for dreams as a 
very special favour,” said Tommy humbly. 

“ We shall be delighted if Mr. Brontops is 
so kind,” said both children together. “ We 
did not quite understand ; that was all,” and 
Brontops looked pleased again. 

“Now where should you like to dream?” 
he asked. “Up or down, or backwards or for¬ 
wards, or sideways, or round and round ? ” 

“Oh, thanks very much. We will leave that 
for you to settle,” said Jenny. “I am sure 
you know Dreamland much better than we do.” 

“He ought to, unless you sleep twenty- 
three hours a day,” remarked Dino. 

“We will dream backwards,’ said Brontops, 
after thinking for a little. “ I think that’s the 
most interesting way. You’d like perhaps to 
dream and see my ancestor Tinjens.” 

159 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ I don’t believe Tinjens is your ancestor,” 
muttered Dino, but Brontops took no notice 
of him. 

The children said they should like it very 
much, so Brontops, nodding lazily, said, “ Dream 
along then,” and sank back into his old position 
with his head stretched out. 

He was fast asleep again before the children 
could ask what they were to do; but as his 
breathing grew deep and steady, Walter felt 
himself getting drowsy. With an effort he sat 
up and looked at Jenny beside him. Her eyes 
were shut and her head nodded. He thought 
he heard Tommy say something about making 
haste to catch them up, and then he felt him¬ 
self falling, faster and faster. Jenny was with 
him, and together they looked and saw the 
earth far away below. The wind shrieked 
past them as they fell now; the earth was 
coming up so fast they dared not look down. 

Would they be dashed to pieces- 

• • * • • • 

“/ never planted them.” 

“ You did," 

“ 1 didn’t! 

160 



THE TINJENS FAMILY 

Then just tell me how vegetables 




THE WIND SHRIEKED PAST THEM AS THEY FELL NOW 


that grew up in the garden without planting.’’ 

161 L 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ I don’t know; you’d better ask them. I 
don’t believe they’re vegetables at all. They 
weren’t there ten minutes aQfo.” 

o 

Walter listened to this conversation, but he 
was still drowsy, and of course never thought 
that he and Jenny were being talked about. 
Now he opened his eyes and saw two huge 
animals with horns and tusks standing and 
staring at them. They were rather like 
Brontops, but not quite so stupid - looking; 
each had big furry horns on the top of its 
head, and a pair of sharp ones side by side 
over its eyes; their tusks were not very long 
and did not look dangerous. 

“ Tinjens ! ” exclaimed Walter. 

“ Tinoceras Ingens,” said the larger animal 
gravely. “Tinoceras Ingens, T. Ingens, 
Tinjens Esquire, and Mrs. Tinjens.” 

“ They’re flowers,” said Mrs. Tinjens ; “ there’s 
that one all a-growing and all a-blowing before 
your very eyes! ” and she pointed at Walter, 
who had taken off his hat to her. 

“We are not flowers,” said Walter, and tried 

to take a step forward to prove it ; but now 

he found that his feet were sunk over the 

162 


THE TINJENS FAMILY 

tops of his boots in mould, and he nearly 
fell. 

“Then you must be vegetables,” said Mrs. 
Tinjens. 

“ We are nothing of the sort,” answered 
Walter. “Come, Jen, let’s get out of this 
dirt.” 

They held on to each other, and after a 
little struggle got their feet out of the mould 
and reached firmer ground. 

“Well, I never saw a flower or a vegetable 
go and root itself up like that and walk on 
to the path,” said Mr. Tinjens. 

“ I’ve seen it; often and often,” said his 
wife. “ They’re a new sort of creeper: things 
you can’t keep in one place, and go sprawling 
all over the garden.” 

“They’re fine healthy plants anyhow,” said 
Mr. Tinjens ; “just look at them cleaning up 
their roots.” 

“ And messing the path,” said his wife. 

“ I know how it happened, Wally,” said 

Jenny, who was busy scraping the stiff mould 

off her boots with a stick. “We fell on our 

feet, and luckily on soft ground, or we should 

163 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


have broken our legs. I wonder where we 
have fallen from.” 

“I'd like to know where we have fallen to,” 
said Walter. 

“ It was too bad of that lazy old Brontops 



to take us for a dream and drop us anywhere 
like this.” 

“Perhaps it is a dream,” said Jenny; but 

164 









THE TINJENS FAMILY 

Walter said “No”; the mud on his boots 
was much too real. 

“ This is my garden,” remarked Tinjens 
gravely. “ I think you ought to explain how 
you came up : we didn’t plant you.” 

“We didn’t come up; we came down,” 
answered Walter. 

Mr. and Mrs. Tinjens looked at each other. 
He said “ Well ? ” ; she said “ Creepers ! ” 

“Look here,” said Walter, “we are not 
plants. We are just a boy and girl, and we 
have come here : that’s all.” 

“ Boy and girl may be plants for all I 
know,” said Tinjens, “unless,” as a happy 
thought struck him, “unless they are animals.” 

“We come from the Living World,” said 
Jenny. 

“And why did you come from the Living 
World to plant yourselves in our garden?” 
asked Mrs. Tinjens. 

“We couldn’t help landing here,” said Walter. 
“If we have done any harm we are very 
sorry ; but we couldn’t choose where we would 
come down.” 

He looked round to see what harm they 

165 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


had done. They had only made a few marks 
on ground which looked as if great pigs had 
been rooting in it; there was really nothing 
to make a fuss about. Indeed he could not 
see why they called the place a garden at all ; 
it was a grass slope, with patches of high grass 
and bushes, which went down to the edge 
of a large lake : there was no sign of a fence, 
nor of anything which had not grown natur¬ 
ally ; the spot had nothing to distinguish it from 
any other part of the land round. 

“Do you know Mr. Brontops?” asked Jenny, 
by way of turning their attention to some¬ 
thing else. 

“How can they?” whispered Walter. 
“ Brontops wasn’t born for thousands of years 
after these creatures.” 

“We never heard of him,” said Mr. and 
Mrs. Tinjens together. 

“We met him several thousand years from 
here on our way from the Living World,” 
said Walter, “and he told us you were his 
ancestors ; that’s how I knew your name.” 

“ I never heard of him,” said Mr. Tinjens, 

“but I dare say he was speaking the truth. 

166 


THE TINJENS FAMILY 

I’m sure I am somebody s ancestor. I can 
tell that by my family pride. Mine is a grand 
Family.” 

“ Let’s take these—Creepers and show them 
the Family,” said Mrs. Tinjens. 

“ Look here,” said Walter, walking up to 
her and standing squarely before her nose, 
“ Fve told you before we are not plants nor 
creepers nor anything of the kind.” 

“ It’s just an idea she’s got,” said Mr. Tinjens ; 
“she will lose it presently, so never mind her. 
Come and see the Family.” 

The children followed them up the slope 

from the lake and climbed a little hillock to 

look round. It was a grand view. Before 

them lay the lake, so wide that the hills on 

the other side were misty and blue in the 

distance; all along this side, as far as they 

could see, was lovely green sward dotted with 

clumps of tall waving grass, bushes, and trees ; 

behind lay a great forest, above which, here and 

there, peeped the feathery crest of a palm. The 

most interesting thing, however, was the number 

of animals ; wherever you turned your eyes you 

saw beasts of the Tinjens kind: big ones 

167 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


feeding and lying down, little ones playing 
and fighting or rolling ; there must have been 

o o o 7 

thousands of them in sight, singly, in pairs, 
and in groups. 

“ What do you think of that Family ? ” asked 
Mr. Tinjens. “You don’t see quarter of it; 
the rest are spread round the lake.” 

“It is a very wonderful sight,” said Walter. 
“Are they all your relations?” 

“ Every one. This is the Tinjens Family 
seat. We all live on the estate, and it’s against 
the rule of the Family to live off it; so you 
won’t find a single Tinjens anywhere else.” 

“ I don’t think I should like to live with 
all my relations always,” said Walter, thinking 
of Aunt Ellen, who was so fond of looking to 
see if his drawers were tidy, and of asking 
him questions out of lesson time; and of his 
cousin May, who screamed when he kept a 
little frog in his pocket. 

“ It’s our Family pride that keeps us to¬ 
gether,” said Mr. Tinjens. “We live on the 
land and die in the water.” 

“Why do you die in .the water?” asked 
Jenny. 


168 



THE FAMILY SEAT 







THE TINJENS FAMILY 


“ Because it’s the rule of the Family; and 
it makes a change, you know. If we lived in 
the water we’d come and die on land.” 

“ I should think you found it rather dull 
here, don’t you?” said Jenny. 

“ It would be dreadfully dull,” said Mrs. 
Tinjens, “ but we make things to do. We 
have a Family quarrel every Tuesday and 
Friday, and a Coolness on Wednesday and 
Saturday afternoons. Then on-” 

“What is a Coolness?” asked Jenny. 

“We all stand in the Lake and don’t speak: 
that’s a Coolness.” 

“ I interrupted you. Please go on. What 
were you going to tell me ? ” 

“Tell you? Oh yes. Coolness on Wednes¬ 
days and Saturdays, and Scandal every Monday 
from three to five.” 

“ What is Scandal ? ” 

“One goes up quietly behind somebody else, 
gives a prod with one’s horns and tries to get 
away without being seen. It’s great fun at 
the time, but it leaves so much soreness that 
things don’t come right till after the Family 
quarrel on Tuesday.” 


169 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ What happens on Thursdays and Sundays? ” 
asked Walter. 

“We are friends on those days for the sake 
of the change.” 

“When is lesson time?” asked Jenny. 

“We don’t have any lessons,” said Mrs. 
Tinjens. 

“You don’t play all the time, do you?” 
asked Walter. 

“We don’t play any games at all.” 

“ Well, I must say I think it’s the very 
stupidest way of living I ever heard of,” said 
Jenny. 

“We must do something said Mr. Tinjens, 
as his wife said nothing. 

“But why quarrel?” asked Walter. 

“ Because we haven’t anything else to do,” 
said Mr. Tinjens, after thinking it over for 
a minute. 


CHAPTER XI 


PHEE AND OH'DON'T-'OP TERYX 



CHAPTER XI 


PHEE AND OH-DONT-’OP TERYX 

L et me see,” said Mr. Tinjens, screwing 
his neck so as to turn his little pig-eye 
to the sun, “it must be Coolness time? 
Will you join us?” — to the children. 

“ I think not, thank you,” answered Jenny. 
“We will sit here and look on, if your Family 
don’t mind.” 

“ Oh they won’t mind a bit; indeed they 
would be delighted, because, you see, they 
love to tell any stranger all about a Family 
unpleasantness. Do stay. We will tell the 
Family you are here, and they will come in 
turns.” 

They strolled away down the slope and 
lurched into the water, where they stood 
twitching their tails and looking thoughtfully 
before them. Only the youngest animals did 
not join the Coolness ; these stayed on the 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


grass and played Scandal and Family Quar¬ 
rels for the Nursery. You may have noticed 
cows standing in a pond on a summer even¬ 
ing. If you watch, you will see they only 



A COOLNESS 


stand and think and switch off the flies : that 
is a cows’ Coolness party. 

“What are we to do, Wally?” asked Jenny 
when Mr. and Mrs. Tinjens were out of hear¬ 
ing. “ Are we to sit here and wait while each 

1 74 








PHEE AND OH - DON'T-*OP TERYX 


one of these creatures comes to say something 
disagreeable about the rest ? ” 

“No,” said Walter, jumping up; “we don’t 
want to be mixed up in their silly quarrels. 
We’ll be off at once. One good thing is that 
these stupid animals only live round the Lake, 
so all we have to do is to get away from it 
and we shan’t see any more of them.” 

They ran down the hillock towards the 
forest and were soon pushing their way 
among huge ferns and feathery grasses, quite 
out of sight of the Lake and the Tinjens 
Family. 

“ I say, Jen,” said Walter after a little time, 
“ I wonder where we are going to ; the ferns 
are all gone, and now there’s nothing but 
thorn-bushes and big trees. We must have 
got right into the forest.” 

He had hardly spoken when there was a 
rustling in the leaves and a panting noise; 
and suddenly a strange little creature, about as 
big as a sheep, rushed right against Walter 
and threw him down. 

“ Look out! ” cried Walter. 

“I — I — I’m so sorry,” said the animal, 

175 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


drawing back and shaking its head. “ Have 
I hurt you? I am so sorry.” 

It was so penitent that Walter said it did 
not matter; and asked why it was flying 
through the wood like that. Was some fierce 
animal hunting it ? 

“ No,” said the creature, looking rather 
ashamed of itself. “ I’ve lost my temper and 
was trying to find it.” 

“ I shouldn’t think you were likely to find 
anything rushing about in that mad way,” 
said Jenny. 

“ Oh, that’s a very good way to find your 
temper,” said the animal earnestly. “ It’s 
strongly recommended. You rush about until 
you’re quite hot and out of breath, and then 
throw yourself down all by yourself. Then 
your temper comes back of itself. I’ve tried 
it often.” 

“Well, has yours come back?” asked Jenny, 
trying not to laugh. 

“ I think so. I think it came back when it 
saw what a bang on the head I gave my¬ 
self,” said the creature, looking foolishly at 
Walter. 

i 76 



PHEE AND OH - DON’T-'OP TERYX 

“ Then now perhaps you will tell us your 
name,” said Walter, who was busy picking dead 
leaves and grass off his clothes. 


THEY SHOOK HANDS WITH HIM AT ONCE 

“I’m generally called Phee,” said the little 
animal. 

“ Well, Phee, can you show us the way out 

177 M 







WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


of the wood? We are tired of tearing through 
the bushes. Look how I’ve scratched my 
hands.” 

Phee looked at his hands and gave a whistle 
of pleased surprise. 

“I say,” he said, “you have got five claws, 
just like me. I expect you must be a relation ; 
won’t you shake hands ? ” 

Neither Walter nor Jenny could see how 
they could be related to a creature which was 
more like a very large rat than anything they 
could think of, but they shook hands with him 
at once and said, “ Very kind of you to say 
so,” when Phee said gravely, “This is a very 
great pleasure and honour, and joy ; and—it’s 
the proudest day of my life, of course.” 

Phee knew the forest well, and soon guided 
them to a path which led to an open glade, 
where rocks cropped up through the short 
grass and made tempting seats in the shade 
of great trees. 

o 

“ It was here,” said Phee, sitting down 
before them, “that I lost my temper this 
morning. Mother had invited a friend of 

mine to come and play with me; 

178 


we were 



PHEE AND OH^DON'TVOP TERYX 


going to play at horses and he wanted to be 
horse.” 

“ 1 think it was rather silly to lose your 
temper about such a trifle as that,” said Jenny. 

“ It wasn’t that,” said Phee. “ I shouldn’t 
have minded that so much; but he said he 
was more like a horse than me, and—and— 
and I couldn’t bear it.” 

“ I wouldn’t cry about it,” said Jenny, for 
Phee was beginning to sob. 

“ Look here, Phee,” said Walter, “ I don’t 
like creatures who blubber about nothing. If 
you don’t wipe your eyes at once I’ll give you 
a good licking.” 

Phee gave two snorts, a gulp, and another 
snort. “I — I — I’m smiling now,” he said, 
putting on a grin. “ I—I’m all, all sunshine 
and smiles now; just like a horse.” 

“ Horses don’t smile,” said Walter. 

“ Well, I always thought they did, you 
know.” 

“ I don’t think you are much like a horse,” 
said Jenny. “We come from the Living 
World where there are lots of horses, and I 

must say you are not very like one.” 

179 







WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“You’re more like a great rat,’’ said Walter. 
“ If you could only see inside me,” said 
Phee earnestly. “ If you could, you would say 



SEE ME RUN,” SAID PHEE 


I am just like a horse inside. I feel it, you 

know. I feel exactly like a horse inside.” 

“You ought to know,” said Walter. 

“See me run,” said Phee. He got up and 

180 







PHEE AND OH - DON'T-'OP TERYX 


trotted and cantered round the elade with a 
serious face, pausing every now and then to 
see if the children were watching. 

“You move very like a horse,” said Jenny 
when he stopped. She was really glad to be 
able to say something that would please him, 
he seemed so dreadfully in earnest about it. 

“ I should be so much obliged if you would 
show me how a horse lies down,” said Phee, 
“because I should like to practise.” 

Walter made^him lie on his side and then 
arranged his legs for him. Phee was very 
obedient and took great pains, but it was plain 
that the position was very uncomfortable. 

“ Hadn’t you better lie naturally before you 
get cramp?” asked Jenny when he had re¬ 
mained for some time with his legs doubled 
up under him. 

“ I shall never rest in any way but this, 
again,” said Phee, looking at her solemnly. 
“ Can you tell me what horses eat ? ” 

“Oats and hay, and things of that sort,” 
answered Walter. 

Phee’s face fell. “ I was in hopes you 

would say, ‘Everything they can get.’ You 

181 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


see I’ve been brought up to waste nothing, 
and so I eat leaves and little birds, grass 
and crabs, beetles and bird’s eggs—in fact, 
everything I come across.” 

“Where’s your mother?” asked Walter, who 
was getting tired of Phee’s wish to be a horse. 

“ She’s ofone to visit a stranger who has 

o 

lately come to these parts for the fishing. She’ll 
be back soon, I dare say.” 

“And who is the stranger?” 

“ He is a bird—a very large bird. If I were 
a fish I wouldn’t go near him for all the 
world.” 

“ I’d like to see him,” said Jenny. They 
had not met a bird to speak to since they made 
the acquaintance of the Moa ; and after so many 
animals, Jenny thought a bird might be a 
pleasant change. Phee, however, did not seem 
very anxious to take them, for he began to 
talk about horses again. 

“ As you’re so eager to be a horse,” said 
Walter, “ I’ll just make some harness and 
drive you over to the place where this bird 
is staying.” 

“ Oh do! ” cried Phee in delight; and in five 

182 




PHEE AND OH'DONHVOP TERYX 


minutes he had collected enough creepers to 
make harness for a coach and four. 

“Tell us about the stranger while Walter 
makes the harness,” said Jenny. 

“ I’m afraid there isn’t much to tell. We 
call h im ‘ Oh-don’t-’Op Teryx’ for a nickname. 
You see he comes from the London Clay, and 
drops his h’s ; and he was always begging the 
folks he met to walk and not to hop, because 
hopping got on his nerves. His real name 
is Teryx, so we got into the way of calling 
him ‘Oh-don’t-’Op’ Teryx, because he was 
always saying that.” 

Oh-don’t-’Op Teryx lived all by himself in 
a nook on the steep bank of a stream. It 
took some time to find him because Phee 
enjoyed being horse so much that he took a 
very roundabout way, pretending he had mis¬ 
taken a turning. When Walter found out what 
he was doing, he cut a switch and whipped 
him, explaining that horses were always 
whipped when they did wrong. Phee did not 
like this at all, but as he was the horse he 
had to bear it. 

They found Oh-don’t-’Op Teryx standing 

183 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


on a large stone, doing up the feathers on his 
back.. When he saw the children he opened 
his beak and stared at them. It was a terrible- 
looking beak, full ot sharp teeth like a saw. 



THEY FOUND OH-DON’T-’OP TERYX 


“We heard you were here,” said Walter, 
“so we thought we’d come and see you. 
How are you to-day ? ” 

The Bird only stood gaping, and made no 


answer. 


184 



PHEE AND OH'DON’T-'OP TERYX 


“Is the fishing: cood here?” Walter in- 

o o 

quired after a pause. 

“Very good,” said the Bird. “Any more 
questions to ask ? ” 

“ I should like very much to ask you one 
question,” said Jenny, “if you wouldn’t think 
it rude.” 

“ That depends what the question is,” said 
Oh-don’t-’Op Teryx. “ Ask away.” 

“Well, I never saw a Bird with teeth in its 
bill before. Why do you have teeth in your 
bill?” 

“ I use teeth in my business: so I have 
teeth. I don’t pay for ’em: so they are put 
in my bill. I couldn’t take ’em out if I wanted 
to. I don’t want to : so I keep ’em in. I 
can’t remember any other reasons at present.” 

“ What is your business, if one may ask ? ” 
inquired Walter. 

“You may ask, and what’s more I’ll tell 
you : I’m a Fisher Bird.” 

“ I should like so much to come out fishing 
with you,” said Walter. “May I?” 

“You may come in fishing with me any 
time you like. I could eat a few pounds of 

185 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


fish this minute, I think. Do you feel inclined 
to fish now ? ” 

Both Walter and Jenny said they should 
like to very much, and sat down to strip off 
their boots and stockings, while Phee, for¬ 
getting he was a horse, curled up in the sulks 
and went to sleep. 

“Now,’’ said Oh-don’t-’Op Teryx, stepping 
into the shallow, “you two, take sticks and 
drive the fish up stream to me. I’ll do the 
catching.” 

It was really wonderful how clever the 
Fisher Bird was at catching fish. He stood 
in the water with his head sunk on his 
shoulders, looking just as if he were going 
to sleep; but every now and then his great 
beak flashed out, and came up with a wriggling 
fish. Never once did he miss ; and no matter 
how big or how lively the fish, he threw up 
his beak and jerked it down his throat at 
once. 

“ Forty - six,” he remarked after a time. 
“That’s as many as I want just now. You 
two come up above me, and I’ll drive a few 
for you to catch.” 

186 


PHEE AND OH - DON'T^OP TERYX 


Walter thanked him, but said he was afraid 
they couldn’t catch fish as he did; also they 
didn’t eat fish raw like that. 

Oh-don’t-’Op Teryx shook his beak gravely 
and said that was a pity : nobody knew what 
really fresh fish were if they did not eat them 
the moment they were caught. 

“We prefer them cooked,” said Jenny, as 
they waded out of the stream. 

“Spoils ’em,” said the Fisher Bird. “Why! 
where’s that young Phee gone off to ? ” 

Phee had gone; he had bitten through the 
harness he had been so proud of, and had 
marched off home by himself. 

“ He’s gone off in a huff,” said Walter. “ He 
seems very easily offended ” 

“All his people are,” said the Fisher 
Bird, yawning. “What are you going to do 
now r 

“Stay here, I think,” said Walter. “It’s 
getting late, and my sister does not care to 
wander about the forest at night.” 

“Got any supper?” 

“No,” said Walter; “we haven’t.” 

“ Then take my advice and go back to 

187 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 

breakfast - time. I suppose you had break¬ 
fast ? ” 

“ I can’t remember, really,’’ said Walter, 
looking to Jenny for help; “the days and 
years have got so frightfully mixed up lately.” 


188 


CHAPTER XII 


HORNY HEAD AND CLAY O’SAUR 





CHAPTER XII 

HORNY HEAD AND CLAY o’SAUR 

T HE Fisher Bird was so much interested 

when Walter spoke of the days and 

years getting mixed up that he said he 

should like to hear their adventures ; so Jenny 

told him everything that had happened from 

the time they lost the golf-ball. The Bird 

listened very attentively. When he heard about 

the Sea-cow, his beak opened two inches; by 

the time Jenny had told him of the Master 

Don, it was open a foot wide; and when she 

came to the Tinjens family, it was so wide 

agape that you would have thought he could 

never shut it again. In fact, when the story 

was finished and he tried to close it, he could 

not do it alone, and Walter had to help him. 

“It’s the most wonderful story I ever 

heard,” he said, when he was put to rights; 

“it was all I could do to take it in. I really 

191 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 

thought I should ’urt myself doing it. I’m 
obliged to you for your help,” he added 
politely to Walter. 

“The thing is,” said Jenny, “what are we 
going to do next? You say, ‘Go back to 
breakfast-time.’ How can we?” 

“Well, after what you have done, I should 
think a little thing like that would be as easy 
as—as catching fish—or shelling peas—or drop¬ 
ping a plate. If you ask my advice, you will 
just collect the things you can’t do and put 
them on one side ; that will clear the ground 
for you to consider what you can do.” 

“Collect the things we can’t do?” queried 
Walter, much puzzled. 

“Yes! It’s as simple as —as rubbing your 
nose. I’ll do it for you :— 

“ You’ve done so much, it seems to me 
The things you can’t do must be few ; 

We’ll count them up, for it will be 

Worth while to keep them out of view. * 

You can’t catch crabs in apple-trees, 

Nor make from cream a.buttercup; 

You can’t make cheese-cakes out of cheese, 

Nor wake a railway sleeper up. 

192 




oh-don’t-’op teryx gaped 



















HORNY HEAD AND CLAY O’SAUR 


You can’t drink from your watch’s spring ; 

You can’t stop creaking wheels with Greece, 

Nor play the tune the kettles sing; 

You can’t grow gooseberries from geese. 

You cannot hear the bark of trees ; 

You can’t with brushwood do your hair; 

You can’t make hare-bells ring or chime, 

Nor with pine-needles holes repair.” 

“That’s really all I can think of for the 
moment,” said the Fisher Bird; “there may be 
a few more things, but they can’t be very 
important” 

“ What we must do now is find a place to 
sleep to-night,” said Walter, who did not see 
the use of counting up things nobody could 
do, or wanted to do. 

“ I’ve given my advice; but if you don’t 
choose to take it, you might take your choice 
of any of these stones,” said the Fisher Bird, 
waving his beak at the boulders which lay 
alone the stream. “ I’ll show you how to 

o J 

sleep standing on one leg, with your head 
laid over on your back.” 

“ I’m afraid it wants practice to be able to 

sleep like that,” said Walter. 

193 N 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“True,” said the Fisher Bird thoughtfully. 
“True. Well, look here; go straight up the 
valley, and near the top you will see a cave 
in the hillside. Nobody lives there. It goes 
right back through the Hills of Time.” 

“Through the Hills of Time?” said Walter. 
“Where does it come out then?” 

“On the other side of the Hills of Time, of 
course, ages and ages away.” 

They bade Oh-don’t-’Op Teryx good night 
and set off up the valley, along which the 
stream tumbled and sparkled. They soon 
found the entrance to the cave under the roots 
of a tree on the steep hillside, and as it looked 
clean and dry they went in. The sun was 
sinking, and shone straight into it; so they 
ran on, farther and farther in, until their 
shadows ceased to dance along the sandy floor 
before them, and it was nearly dark. 

“ Its just like a railway tunnel,” said Jenny. 
“And look, Wally! there is the other end!” 

The hole was so far away that there was 
only a little spot of light; but they went on, 
ea^er to see what there was on the other 
side. 


194 



“ IT’S JUST LIKE A RAILWAY TUNNEL 




HORNY HEAD AND CLAY O'SAUR 


“It’s very funny,” said Jenny; “when we 
came into the cave I was so tired and hungry, 
and now I feel as if I’d just had breakfast, 
and wanted to go out in the garden.” 

“ I feel just the same,” said Walter. “ I 
shouldn’t be surprised if we’d gone back to 
breakfast-time somehow ; not a bit.” 

When they reached the far end of the cave 
they found the hole was so small that they 
had to creep out on hands and knees. They 
found themselves on the side of a hill covered 
with loose stones and low bushes : the country 
below was not pretty ; it was like the pictures 
of the desert, and only wanted a line of camels 
with Arabs to be complete; but there was 
not a living thing to be seen. 

“ Let’s £0 down and see what there is 
beyond those rocks over there,” said Walter 
after they had rested. 

They ran down, and were just coming to 
the rocks when a tremendous, bellow made 
them stop and look at each other. 

“ Cows ! ” said Jenny ; “ let’s hide somewhere.” 

There was no time to hide, for that moment 
an enormous creature three times the size of 

x 95 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


an elephant stepped slowly round the rocks 
and came towards them. 

“What in the world can it be?” said Walter. 



WHAT THE MONSTER WAS LIKE 

You can see by the picture what the monster 

was like. What made him look so terrible was 

196 





HORNY HEAD AND CLAY O'SAUR 


his great horns and the curving frill of bone 
which stood up all round his neck. He came 
on with short heavy steps, swinging his huge 
tail from side to side, and eying the children 
with red angry eyes. When only a few yards 
off he stopped, lowered his head and gave 
another bellowing roar which echoed from hill 
to hill for miles round. 

“ What are you making that dreadful noise 
for?” asked Walter, pretending he was not a 
bit afraid of the creature. 

“That is a challenge,” said the monster in a 
thin squeaky voice. “ A challenge to fight.” 

“Who do you want to fight ? ” 

“ I’ve got to settle a small matter with a 
friend of mine, *young Clay O’Saur; he is to 
meet me here at nine o’clock. Have you seen 
him ? ” 

Walter said “ No,” they hadn’t. 

“He’s afraid, 1 expect,” said the monster. 
“They’re all afraid of me. Aren’t you little 
animals afraid of me?” He drew a deep 
breath, laid his head to the ground, and gave 
another really terrible bellow that made the 
earth tremble. 


197 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“Well, as you could eat us both at one 
mouthful,” said Walter, “ I don’t mind confess¬ 
ing that we were a little afraid at first.” 

“ As for swallowing you ”—the monster opened 
his mouth and showed a great pink cavern 
with teeth as big as biscuit tins—“ I suppose 
I could. But I wouldn’t dare eat a slice off 
the breast of either of you. Though you are 
both beautifully tender, I’m sure.” He added 
this hastily, as if they might think he meant 
they were tough and be offended. 

“What do you eat?” asked Walter. 

“A few trees, an acre or two of bushes or 
reeds; a rick or two of hay—any little trifle 
does for me,” answered the monster modestly. 
“ I can’t touch meat. If I ate a leg or a wing 
of either of you I should be ill for twenty or 
thirty years, if I didn’t die outright.” 

“ I’m afraid you must be very delicate,” said 
Jenny. 

“ I am very delicate,” sighed the monster, 
sinking down and stretching out his forelegs 
to rest his head on them, “though you may 
not think it to look at me.” 

He did not look delicate; his head seemed 

198 





HORNY HEAD AND CLAY O'SAUR 


to be all bone, and his body was thickly 
covered with knobs and warts and blunt spines, 
like a heap of stones by the roadside on which 
somebody has been breaking bottles, 



“ I AM VERY DELICATE ” 


“Ah!” he sighed, as he saw them glance at 
his sides, “nothing can hurt me outside; but, 
on the other hand, anything can hurt me in¬ 
side. I have to be as careful as can be.” 

T 99 




WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ I am very sorry,” said Jenny sympatheti¬ 
cally. 

“ It’s not your fault,” said the monster, “ I 
admit that; it isn’t any fault of yours. I was 
born like that. My head is too much for me,” 
he went on ; he seemed to enjoy talking of 
himself. “ Sometimes I have as many as three 
headaches at the same time.” 

“ I never heard of anybody having more 
than one headache before,” said Walter. 

“A head the size of yours,” said the monster, 
“couldn’t hold more than one, and a very little 
headache at that ; mine’s quite different.” 

Walter and Jenny sat down in the shade of 
a rock and looked at him as he sprawled, 
blinking in the sun ; he was more like a heap 
of road-metal than ever, lying at full length. 

“ Would you kindly just step up on that 
rock and see if Clay is coming?” he said pre¬ 
sently. 

Walter climbed up the rock and looked 
round; in the distance he saw a creature 
bounding along with great hops like a Kan¬ 
garoo ; it seemed to be talking or singing as 
it came. 


200 


HORNY HEAD AND CLAY O'SAUR 


I hat’s Clay O’Saur,” said the monster, 
dragging himself upon his feet when Walter 
described the animal. “ He’s one of those 
silly dinosaurs that always walk on their hind 
legs—like you.” 

Clay O’Saur arrived at this moment, and 
dropped down on all - fours to scratch his 
muzzle ; he was a foolish-looking creature, with 
a mouth always open and no ears, which gave 
his head a curious, unfinished look. 

“Come to fight?” drawled the first monster. 

“ I’m afraid I’m late,” replied Clay. “I over¬ 
slept myself, Horny Head. I didn’t hear when 
I was called: that’s one of the drawbacks of 
havinor no ears.” 

o 

“/ should call it an advantage,” said Horny 
Head. “ I hate getting up in the morning. 
But what I asked you was : Do you want to 
fight ? ” 

“No,” said Clay, standing up and looking 
about him weakly. “/ want to be a bird ; that’s 
all I want.” 

“ Pretty bird you’d make,” sneered the other. 

“ I can’t sing very well, I know,” replied 

Clay humbly. “ But oh ! he danced about 

201 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


on his hind legs and flapped his fore paws— 
“I should love to be a bird!” 

“Do look at him!” said Horny Head. “/ 
could sing as well as he could.” 

He wheeled round suddenly, and, lowering 
his head, rushed at Clay, who merely jumped 
to one side and went on flapping his fore 
paws. 

“If you do that again, I’ll scratch you,” 
he said, nodding his head. “ Mind that: I’ll 
scratch you.” 

Horny Head grunted, swung round and 
lowered his head for another charge. Clay 
stood quite still facing him until he was within 
a few feet, then he hopped aside as before, 
and as Horny Head lumbered past struck out 
with his hind foot, whose claw left an ugly 
scratch down the monster’s flank. 

“Do you want to fight any more?” he 
inquired, “ or have you had enough ? ” 

Horny Head did not answer: he turned 
and charged again, and got another scratch on 
the other flank; again, and got a third. This 
went on till he had received fourteen oreat 

o 

scratches, and Clay had not been touched. 

202 



HORNY HEAD AND CLAY O'SAUR 


“Stop them,” said Jenny to Walter. “ Horny 
Head’s shoulder is bleeding.” 

“ The dust they kicked up was hanging in 
a cloud so dense that they could scarcely be 



seen. Walter, remarking that it was no good 
their fighting if he couldn’t see the fun, called 
out that they were to stop. 

“You hear that,” panted Horny Head. 
“ Umpire says you are to stop ; you’re not to 
scratch any more.” 


203 





WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“And you are not to run at him again,” said 
Walter. 

“ I haven’t hit him once yet,” objected Horny 
Head. 

“ That’s your own fault.” 

“ It isn’t. He wouldn’t stand still.” 

“ Did you expect he would—for you to stick 
your horns into him?” asked Walter. 

“Why —of course!” replied Horny Head, 
very much surprised. 

“ Well, he wasn’t so silly. The fight is 

over.” 

“ Then I shan't play any more,” said Horny 
Head, and he marched off. Clay stood looking 
after him sorrowfully. 

“ He would be such a nice fellow, you 
know,” he remarked, “ if he wasn’t so foolish 
about some things. Do you know what he 
quarrelled with me about yesterday ? Did he 
tell you?” 

“No,” replied Walter. 

“ I was singing : he joined in the song, but 
couldn’t reach my top notes, and wanted me 
to come down to his compass. I told him it 

would spoil the tune, and he was offended.” 

204 


HORNY HEAD AND CLAY O'SAUR 


“ How silly of him!” said Jenny. “What 
were you singing?” 

This was quite enough for Clay ; he cleared 
his throat and began at once. 

o 



CLAY SINGING 


“ I want to be a bird, 

And fly about on wings; 
For that’s what I have heard 
A bird does when it sings. 

205 








WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


I want to be a lark, 

Canary or bullfinch; 

I’d be, I may remark, 

A raven, at a pinch. 

A sparrow or an owl— 

I really don’t care what; 

But some small feathered fowl 
That need not fear the pot. 

Why was my spirit pent 

To hop upon Earth’s floor? 

Surely I was not meant 
To be a Die-no-saur.” 




20b 


CHAPTER XIII 


ICKY ORNIS AND PLR.H. THE 
SEA SERPENT 





THE SEA SERPENT 










CHAPTER XIII 


ICKY ORNIS AND H.R.H. THE SEA SERPENT 

H E lingered over the last line, sighed 
heavily, and sank down on all-fours, 
gazing sadly at the children. 

“What did you say you were?” asked 
Walter; “a Di no saur? ” 

“Yes,” sighed Clay. “I belong to that un¬ 
fortunate family. I shall die without soaring, 
as the name shows.” 

“Is that what it means?” asked Jenny. 
“That,” sighed the monster, “is exactly what 
it means.” 

“And you want to be a bird?” said Walter, 

looking him over. He was about ten yards 

long, and when he stood up was a great deal 

taller than a giraffe ; anything less like a bird 

you could hardly imagine. 

“ It’s -a curious thing,” remarked Jenny 

thoughtfully, “but quite lately we met a 

209 o 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


creature like a great rat and it wanted to be 
a horse.” 

“ I don't know what a rat or a horse may 
be,” said Clay, “but if the animal felt that it 
ought to be a horse I sympathise with it, 
because I feel that I ought to be a bird.” He 
rolled his eyes skywards, stood up, and flapped 
his fore-legs feebly. 

“ Perhaps you’ll become a bird some day,” 
suggested Walter. 

Clay smiled sadly. 

“ There was a message from London about 
it only the other day,” he said. “ I had been 
promised faithfully I should become a bird— 
a great many birds, perhaps—but now there’s 
some difficulty. They say some other creature 
will become birds, and I— 1 —/ only want to be 
a flock of larks—or a flight of swallows—or 
even a rookery.” 

“Wouldn’t you be satisfied if you were a 
single bird?” asked Jenny. 

“ If I were a single bird I should marry at 
once,” answered Clay. 

“ I mean one bird,” said Jenny. 

“I should like that best, of course; but 

210 







“That was quite like poetry,” Walter 
remarked. 

“Yes,” said Clay, flapping his fore-legs 


ICKY ORNIS AND THE SEA SERPENT 

then there is so much of me. That it were 
easier to be, A dozen birds or twenty-three, 
Than only one.” 


“ I OUGHT TO BE A BIRD ! ” 







WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


limply; “you must excuse me; but everything 
that is light and airy and beautiful, like poetry 
and birds and music and balloons-” 

“And jam puffs,” suggested Walter. 

“And jam puffs,” agreed Clay, “and in¬ 
come-tax, and electric lamps, and bad shil¬ 
lings, go together in my mind. So when I 
think or speak of birds I often do it in 
poetry.” 

“I don’t think,” said Jenny, “that Papa 
would say that there was anything light or 
beautiful about the income-tax.” 

“It’s airy, though,” answered Clay; “it’s so 
gay and sprightly you never know what it 
will be up to next.” 

“Bother the income-tax!” said Walter. 
“What’s that great bird flying over there?” 

Clav twisted his head round to look. 

“That’s Icky Ornis,” he said. “He preens 
his feathers by the sea, Catching bright 
fishes for his tea. Ah! could.he but exchange 

o 

with me, And I be Icky Ornis!” 

“ Look here,” said Walter, “ I don’t mind 

a song or a bit of poetry once in a way; 

but if you can’t speak of a great clumsy 

212 



ICKY ORNIS AND THE SEA SERPENT 


bird like that without doing it in poetry, you’d 
better shut up altogether.” 

“Walter!” exclaimed Jenny. 

“ I don’t care,” said Walter, picking up a 
pebble and throwing it * at a bush. “ Why 
should he do it ? ” 

“Why shouldn’t he if he likes? I think 
it was very rude indeed; and you ought to 
say you’re sorry.” 

Walter stuck his hands in his pockets and 
glared at .the sand: he never liked confessing 
he had said something he ought not; but he 
was a very honest fellow and knew he had 
been rude. 

“I’m awfully sorry,” he said to Clay: “it 
wasn’t right to say such a thing.” 

“It’s all right,” said Clay pleasantly. “Now, 
shall we seek the pebbly beach, Where Icky 
Ornis waits to teach—Ahem !—and hear what 
Icky can tell about the Sea Serpent?” 

“The Sea Serpent!” exclaimed both chil¬ 
dren. “Why, we’ve heard such a lot about 
the Sea Serpent. Is he really here?” 

“He’s alzvays in the paper,” Walter added, 
with his manly air. 


213 




WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ He isn’t in the paper here,” said Clay. 
“ He’s in the sea.” 

“Does he ever come in near the shore?” 
asked Jenny. “ I should so like to see him.” 

“Yes; he comes in occasionally to gather 
tidings.” 

“Do you mean to get the news?” asked 
Walter. 

“No; to get tidings. In the sea you get 
such a lot of salt with news that it spoils it.” 

“Well, I must say I should like to see 
him,” said Walter. “Just fancy, Jen, if we 
went out fishing and caught the Sea Ser¬ 
pent ! ” 

“If you went out fishing,” said Clay, “it’s 
very much more likely he would catch you ; 
he is about three times as big as I am, and 
the sea air gives him a frightful appetite.” 

“Then we most certainly won’t go,” said 
Jenny. “Wally, you mustn’t. Mother would 
be so anxious.” 

“You’d better come and be presented to 
the Sea Serpent before you say any more,” 
said Clay. “ He rules the waves.” 

“Britannia rules the waves,” said Jenny. 

214 


ICKY ORNIS AND THE SEA SERPENT 

“Youd better not tell the Sea Serpent 
that ,” said Clay. 

1 hey were walking as they talked, and 
presently came within sound of the sleepy 
plash of the sea. When they got to the 


“ HI ! ICKY ! ” SHOUTED CLAY 

beach they could see Icky Ornis perched on 
a rock a long way out. 

“ Hi! Icky ! ” shouted Clay. 

The bird turned his head, then spread his 
wings, and after dapping heavily over the 

21 5 








WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


wave crests, swooped up and sailed gracefully 
to the shore. He had a long toothed bill like 
Oh-don’t-’Op Teryx, but was as tall as a full- 
grown man ; he was a fine-looking bird, with 
a quick, bright eye. 

“Oh but why. Can he fly, While poor I, 
Have to die—” the rest of Clay’s sad inquiry 
was lost in a choky whisper as Icky Ornis 
alighted and waddled up to them. 

“What can I do for you?” he asked 
politely, looking at Walter and Jenny. 

“These young creatures.” said Clay, dropping 
on his fore-legs, “are friends of mine. They 
have heard so much about you they wish to 
make your acquaintance.” 

“Very pleased, I’m sure,” said Icky, smiling. 
It was difficult for him to smile, but, consider¬ 
ing how small his face was, he did it rather 

well. “What can I do for you?” he asked 

again; he brought his wings across his breast 

and rubbed them together like a shopman 

saying, “ What article can I show you, 

? ^ >> 
ma am r 

“We should like to see you catch some 

fish,” said Jenny, who was a very tactful little 

216 


ICKY ORNIS AND THE SEA SERPENT 

girl, and feared lest Walter should say bluntly 
they only wanted to see the Sea Serpent. 

“ Certainly, ’ said Icky. “If you will just 



“WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? 1 ’ 

step out to the rocks yonder and take a seat 
I will show you the finest fish we have.” 

“ We don’t want to buy any this morning, 
thanks,” said Jenny. His manner was so like 
a' shopman’s, it seemed the natural thing to 
say. 












WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ Allow me to catch them first,” said Icky 
gravely. 

Jenny said, “Thank you very much,” and 
they started to walk along the beach towards 
the rocks which made a natural pier running 
far out into the sea. The bird took two or 
three hops with outspread wings and sailed 
away, looking behind him once or twice to see 
they were going in the right direction. 

“ I hope Mr. Icky Ornis won’t think it 
selfish—” Jenny began. 

“ He doesn’t catch shell-fish,” interrupted 
Clay, “only fishes with scales: he has no 
scales himself, so the fish bring their own. 
You may have remarked that fish are always 
weighed in their scales.” 

“I was going to say,” Jenny resumed, “that 
it seemed selfish-” 

“Oh! I see. He doesn’t sell fish ; he gives 
them away.” 

It was no use trying to make Clay under¬ 
stand that what she meant was, Icky might 
think them selfish., to ask him to go to the 
trouble of catching fish and then not buy 

any ; so she gave it up; and they walked on 

218 




ICKY ORNIS AND THE SEA SERPENT 


to the end of the pier where the bird was 
waiting perched on a rock just over the 
water. 

“ You’ll see him go in in a minute,” said 
Clay, who was picking his way carefully 
among the pools. “He goes in head first, 
to see there’s nothing he might hit his toes 
against.” 

“All diving birds do,” said Walter, who 
was wading through every pool they came to, 
and enjoying himself very much. 

“ I’m extremely sorry to disappoint you,” 
said Icky Ornis when they came up, “but, to 
tell you the truth, I don’t dare go in.” 

“Sea Serpent?” inquired Clay, coming down 
on all-fours and speaking in a whisper. 

Icky nodded. 

“ I thought he was miles away this morn¬ 
ing,” he said, “but he isn’t. He’s squirming 
and rolling and writhing just out there. 
Look ! ” 

The children started, for right in front of 

them an immense neck with a little head like 

an eel’s divided the waves and reared up, 

dripping and shining in the sun. The Sea 

219 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


Serpent yawned widely and showed teeth that 
made you shudder. 

“And Wally wanted to catch it!'’ whispered 
Jenny, turning pale at the very thought. 

“Oh no!” exclaimed Walter. It seemed 
to him the Sea Serpent might hear, and then 
what would happen ? 

The Sea Serpent saw them, and advanced 
with majestic jerks, carrying his head like a 
swan, while the water curled and rippled before 
his chest. 

“Good morning,” he said. His voice was 
like a steamer’s whistle. “ Some strangers 
with you, I see.” 

“Yes, your Highness,” replied Clay, stand¬ 
ing upright, and making a kind of curtsey by 
sliding back on his tail. “Some young creatures 
from the Living World.” 

The Sea Serpent came nearer to look at 
the children, but feeling a rock, backed a 
little way. 

“It’s a very hot day,” he said. “Wouldn’t 
they care for a swim ? ” 

“They can’t swim, your Highness,” said 

Icky and Clay together hastily. 

220 


ICKY ORNIS AND THE SEA SERPENT 


Walter could swim very well, and didn’t 
mind going out of his depth, but he felt that 
it wasn’t necessary to mention it just now, 
though generally he was rather anxious to say 
when he could do anything. 

“ That’s a pity,” said the Sea Serpent; “the 
water is lovely and warm this morning.” Some¬ 
thing caught his eye at this moment, and in 
a flash his neck was a hoop vanishing in the 
sea; the water boiled, and the neck hooped 
up again, the head almost hidden by a fish as 
large as a cod held in the mouth. The Sea 
Serpent bit it in two, stretched out his neck 
to swallow one half, then picked up the other 
and swallowed that. Icky looked at the 
children and whispered: “There’s a warning 
for you.” 

Having swallowed the fish, the Sea Serpent 
turned like a ship swinging to the tide and 
lay off the rocks, paddling slowly. The 
children could see his whole length now the 
water was so clear. He was nearly four times 
as long as a cricket-pitch. 

“ I rule the waves,” remarked the Sea 

Serpent, breasting the gentle swell proudly. 

221 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 

“I’m the Prince of Whales. Are those two 
children good children ? ” he added. 

“Your Royal Highness, they are the very 
worst children I ever saw,” replied Clay eagerly. 
“They are so bad I’m afraid nothing can be 
done with them.” 

Walter and Jenny were a good deal sur¬ 
prised at this, and were about to protest when 
Icky, pretending to trim his wing, looked round 
and whispered “ H’sh.’C 

“ I’m sorry for that,” said the Sea Serpent. 
“ Had they been good I would have allowed 
you to present them, though they’re not in 
court dress and it isn’t a drawing-room day.” 

“ It’s very kind of your Royal Highness,” 
said Jenny, who was still unable to under¬ 
stand why Clay had given them such a bad 
character. 

“Not at all,” replied the Sea Serpent: he 
grinned as he said so, but instantly became 
grave again. 

“ What becomes of people who are presented 
to your Royal Highness?” asked Walter, who 
saw the grin, and had taken to heart the fate 
of that big fish. 


2 22 


ICKY ORNIS AND THE SEA SERPENT 


“ What becomes of apples that are presented 
to your Royal Shortness ? ” retorted the Sea 
Serpent, with a chuckle. He evidently saw 
that Clay did not mean to let the children 
come near him, for he gave a few strokes with 
his paddles and moved seawards, pushing up 
the water like a steam barge. “ Good-bye,” 
he said, without looking round. Suddenly he 
threw his head forward, his great back heaved 
above the water, his tail twisted high, and 
came down with a tremendous splash ; then, 
while the water still streamed from his back, 
his head went down and drew his body after 
it. The Sea Serpent was gone, in a boil of 
foam. 


223 




CHAPTER XIV 


THE FLYMAN 






CHAPTER XIV 


THE FLYMAN 

G ONE!” exclaimed Icky, and he clapped 
his wings against his sides with a shriek of 
relief. “ I’m afraid if we hadn’t been here 
he would have eaten these two young creatures.” 
“No doubt about that,” said Clay. 

There was silence for a little time. Walter 
and Jenny were thinking over the escape they 
had had ; the bird was pluming his feathers, 
and Clay stood looking out to sea, half expect¬ 
ing the Sea Serpent would appear again. 

“Seen Horny Head to-day?” inquired Clay 
presently. “ I had a fight with him this 
morning, and won.” 

“You shouldn’t fight with him now,” said 
Icky; “he is in a decline. Should he?” he 
added, appealing to Walter. 

“ What do you mean by ‘ in a decline ’ ? ” asked 

Walter. 


227 


WONDERS IN MONSTER LAND 


“ Don’t you know what declining is ? Haven’t 
you learned grammar ? ” 

“ I’m learning Latin now,” replied Walter, 
“and I’m in the Fourth Declension.” 

“Well, do you like declining nouns?” 

“ They’re rather difficult sometimes,” Walter 
admitted. 

“ Naturally ; they’re sick and out of sorts 
and hard to manage: that’s the way with 
Horny Head just now.” 

“But what has he to do with nouns?” 
Walter inquired rather impatiently. 

“ Everything. He is a noun, isn’t he? Well, 
he has been declining for years.” 

“ I hope you don’t dislike grammar,” Clay 
said. 

“I can’t say I like it,’ replied Walter; “in 
fact I hate it.” 

“ I can understand you not liking declining 
nouns,” said Clay, “ nasty peevish things ; 
but the verbs, now : some of them are charm¬ 
ing out of school hours.” 

“ Humpty Dumpty said the verbs were so 
proud and had such a temper nobody could do 

anything with them,” said Jenny. 

228 


THE FLYMAN 


“ Then Humpty Dumpty, whoever he may 
be, didn’t know what he was talking about,” 
said Clay. “ A regular active verb—so long 
as it isn’t in the imperative mood—is a 
delightful companion for a half-holiday walk 
in the country. Did you ever make friends 
with a verb?” 

“No, never,” answered Walter. 

“ 1 hen take my advice and make friends 
with all of them; and if an active verb, 
particularly To Give, asks you to go and stay 
with him, don’t you refuse on any account.” 

“ Why, please?” 

“ Why! He asks ‘ Why’?” said Clay, turning 
to Icky. 

“ Then tell him why,” said the bird. “ But 
first, I vote we go back to the beach and 

make ourselves comfortable in the shade.” 

Clay agreed ; so they strolled along the 

rocks and found a pleasant nook under an 

overhanging cliff. Walter took off his wet 

boots and stockings and put them to dry in 

the sun ; and when he and Jenny had seated 

themselves with their backs against the rock, 

the amiable monster lay down before them 

229 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


to bring his head on a level with theirs, and 
sang this Song of a Generous Active Verb :— 

“ I give because I love To Give, 

And never reckon the expense; 

I wish that I might always live 
In only Birthday Present Tense. 





THE SONG OF A GENEROUS ACTIVE VERB 

To Give to children who are good, 

The pleasure really is immense; 

They find that I in every mood, 

Have got a Birthday Present Tense. 
230 











THE FLYMAN 


But children who for nothing cry, 

Want neatness, manners, soap or sense ; 

I Shall Give toys to—by-and-by, 

In rather distant Future Tense. 

When I Was Giving to a lad 
A little pocketful of pence, 

He learned, his conduct was so bad, 

That I had an Imperfect Tense. 

(That is, that boy behaved so ill 
I did not give all I was willing, 

I doled out halfpennies until 

He said, 1 Go on ; fork out a shilling ! ’ 

He may of course have not had any 

* Rude purpose ; but it gave offence : 

I stopped donations at a penny, 

And never reached my Perfect Tense.) 

That is the Tense for which one waits. 

‘I give,’ ‘Shall give,’ are full of doubt, 

‘ What will he give ? A pair of skates ? 

A tart? The bluntest penknife out?’ 

When I Have Given you a bike, 

And rapture ends your long suspense, 

You say ‘ Dear Verb, how much I like 
You in your really Perfect Tense !’” 

“ I never thought of verbs in that way,” 
said Walter. “ Thank you very much for the 


song. 


2 3 * 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“ I wonder,” said Jenny thoughtfully, “ whether 
Passive Verbs are as nice.” 

“Hardly,” said Clay; “they are lazy, sleepy 
things, most of them. But I was nearly for¬ 
getting, I declare! I promised to sing at a 
party Lady Megalo Saurus is giving this 
afternoon. Would you care to come? Lady 
Megalo is a great friend of mine, and will 
be delighted if I bring you.” 

“ I should like to go very much,” said 
Jenny, looking at Walter. He didn’t care for 
grown-up parties. 

“You will see all the great people of the 
neighbourhood there,” said Clay. “ I hope you 
will come.” 

“All right,” said Walter; “we will. Is it 
very far? My sister can’t walk very far, and 
we have come a long way already to-day.” 

“ It’s only a few thousand years away : a 
mere step. But I’ll tell you what. We’ll ask 
Icky to call a Hyman for you two. A ptero¬ 
dactyl will whisk you over in ten minutes.” 

“ I’ll do it with pleasure,” said Icky Ornis. 

“What is a—terro—terro—?” asked Jenny, 

who had not quite caught the word. 

232 




THE FLYMAN 


“It is merely a fly—or rather a flyman,” 
said Clay. “Will you call one, Icky? There 
are generally a few hanging about the rocks 
yonder. Call the biggest you can, and tell 
him he will have to take two.” 

Icky waddled out on to the sand, and flew 
off after his usual clumsy hops and jumps. 
The children watched him soar high in the 
air, and then, evidently having seen what 
was wanted, speed away behind the hill. Clay 
looked after him, sighing heavily, and from 
the movement of his lips he seemed to be 
saying more poetry to himself. 

“Why does the flyman hang about the 
rocks?” asked Jenny. 

“Oh, he knows it’s a good place to look for 
his fare ; he picks up a lot on the sea-shore.” 

“That reminds me,” said Walter. “What 
will his fare be ? ” 

“That’s not very good English,” said Clay, 
smiling. “He fares on fish', and small birds, 
and small animals.” 

“ I mean what will his fare be to Lady 
What’s ’er name’s house?” said Walter. 

Clay gazed at him doubtfully. 

233 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“If you mean, ‘What will he eat at Lady 
Megalo’s ? ’ I don’t suppose he’ll eat any¬ 
thing. You wouldn’t ask a flyman who took 
you to a party to come in and have some¬ 
thing to eat ? ” 

“ Of course I shouldn’t; but I should give 
him some money for taking me.” 

“Well, if the fellow asks for anything, just 
tell him to come to me. I’ll arrange all that. 
Here comes Icky with a flyman. The biggest 
in the neighbourhood. Isn’t he like a peram¬ 
bulator ? ” 

“ I don’t see how he is like a perambulator,” 
said Jenny. “He is just like a huge green 
lizard, with a dragon’s head and a bat's wings. 
He is a great dragon out of a story-book.” 

“ He can only carry little people,” said Clay ; 
“ that’s why he’s like a perambulator.” 

The flying dragon was not at all at home 
on the ground: as Walter said, he dragged 
himself along “like a mouse dipped in treacle,” 
with his huge leathery wings hanging in 
loose folds along his sides. His great goggle 
eyes and the teeth he kept on showing made 
him a very ugly monster indeed. 

2 34 


THE FLYMAN 


I want you to take these young creatures 
over to Lady Megalo’s place,” said Clay. 
“Can you take them both?” 

‘Shall I take ’em inside, or out?” asked 
the dragon, with a grin. 



“ CAN YOU TAKE THEM BOTH ? ” 


Clay stood up, stalked over to him, raised 
his leg and gave him such a kick that it brought 
the tears to his eyes. 

“You needn’t think that because you can 

235 








WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 

fly you can say just what you please,” he re¬ 
marked severely. “You will carry my young 
friends on your back, and if you drop them, 
or bite off one of their legs—only one of their 
feet even—I’ll come and break every egg in 
your nest. / know where you live.” 

“I'm not goin’ to hurt ’em,” said the dragon. 
“Come along and get on my back, and don’t 
go and stick your feet through my wings.” 

Jenny did not much like the prospect of the 
ride. Supposing she or Walter did make a 
hole in his wing by accident ? He might come 
tumbling down from the sky at once; one 
knows how a bladder splits from the tiniest 
hole, and when the creature was flying his 
wings looked just like bladders. 

“Hadn’t we better take off our boots?” she 
said. 

Clay caught the flyman’s wing by the tip, 
pulled it out to its full spread and drummed 
upon it with his fore-paw. 

“ You might kick at that for a week,” he 
said, “and never make a mark. Just seat 
yourselves comfortably behind his shoulders, 

and you will be quite safe.” 

236 



THE FLYMAN 


He helped them up, while the huge dragon 
twisted his neck to look round and make re¬ 
marks. 

“ If your boots is clean,” he said, “ I don’t 
mind your puttin’ of your feet on the cushions.” 

“ Never mind his stupid chaff,” said Clay. 
“ He is a very honest creature really, but has 
no manners at all ; none of his class have.” 

“ Gaarn ! ” said the flyman, with a husky laugh. 
“You’re a-comin’ too, ain’t yer? Oo’s a-goin’ 
to pull me out if I gets stuck in a star-drift?” 

Clay took no notice until he had seen the 
children properly settled, then he turned to 
him and told him he was to fly low and steadily. 
“You’re not on any account to go chasing 
birds or anything; you are to keep near the 
ground so that the young people will not be 
giddy.” 

“ It’ll be a bit extra then,” said the flyman, 
“because of all them hills.” 

“Very well; away you go. You can call 
here to-morrow.” 

“You’re a Dinosaur, you are, Sir,” said the 
flyman, much pleased; “a real Dinosaur, you 
are. Goo’ day, Sir.” 


237 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“I suppose he means ‘a real gentleman/” 
said Jenny. 

“ I dunno wot a genleman may be,” said the 
flyman; “but if a genleman is one wot gives 
his flyman double, then a genleman’s the same 
as a Dinosaur.” 

He crept up a mound of sand, working his 
wings as he went, and reaching the highest 
point, launched himself with a few whistling . 
wing-beats and skimmed away over the sand. 

“H ow funny it is!” exclaimed Jenny, holding 
on to her hat. “He seems to be working all 
over.” 

It was very odd. Under the close downy fur 
which covered his back you could feel the 
muscles moving in every direction ; the great 
wings whistled at every stroke, and the dragon, 
with his head held well back, breathed like a 
horse. 

“How jolly!” said Walter. “You can see 
such a distance. Look! there’s Clay coming 
after us. Doesn’t he go at a rate ? And 
there’s Icky gone back to the rock where we 
saw him first. And look! I declare that’s 

Horny Head asleep under that tree!” 

238 





“ HOW JOLLY ! ” SAID WALTER ; 


“YOU CAN SEE SUCH A DISTANCE 



































































THE FLYMAN 


They could see everything in front and 
behind, but the wings spreading out from their 
feet like pointed sails hid the view on either 
side. The great leathery sheets swelled and 
sank as they fell and rose in swift regular 
beats ; now and again when the flyman swerved 
in his course the leathern fan at the end of his 
tail fluttered like a flag in the wind. 

“ It’s a lovely ride.” said Jenny. 

“ Glecl you like it, mem,” said the flyman, 
rolling back his left eye to look at her. “ It’s a 
pleasure to kerry passengers as enjoys the ride.” 

“Do you carry many?” asked Jenny, pleased 
to find him so amiable. 

“ Not many, mem. I kerry messages most 
times; but if I drops them in the sea I gets 
into trouble.” 

“Drop a message in the sea? How can you 
do that?” asked Jenny. 

“ It slips out of my memory,” answered the 
flyman; “there’s a hole in it. I’ve been mean¬ 
ing to hev it mended this long time, but my 
missus, she says, ‘ Ga-arn! you want a new ’un.’ 
And how’s pore workin’ folk to get a ’spensive 
thing like a new memory, I’d like to know?” 

239 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


“Why don’t you write down your messages?” 
asked Walter. 

“Wot? Me? I hev’n’t a quill in my wings ; 
you can see that for yourself, Sir.” 

“ Steel pens—” began Walter. 

“ I’ve bin a honest creetur all my days, Sir, 
and I ain’t a-goin’ to begin to steal now. 
Yonder’s Lady Megalo’s place, Sir; we’ll be 
there in a minute. Nice lady she is, too, Sir, 
and one of the biggest people hereabout. Sit 
back a little, if you please. I turn down 
here.” 

His head went forward and his tail bent 
up; and before the children knew exactly 
what he meant, he alighted with a flutter, and 
the ride was over. 


240 



CHAPTER XV 

A DINOSAUR'S PARTY 


Q 



CHAPTER XV 


a dinosaur’s party 

T HEY had only just climbed down from 
the dragon’s back when Clay bounded 
up, panting. They waited a few minutes 
for him to recover breath, and then went to 
be introduced to Lady Megalo, who stood 
with her fore-paws loosely clasped, under a 
tall palm-tree, awaiting the arrival of guests. 
A few had already come, and were strolling 
about in pairs or talking in little groups. All 
were huge creatures; not one was under ten 
feet high, and Walter and Jenny felt very 
small indeed. 

“ So kind of you to come,” she said to Clay 
as he offered his paw. “ I’ve had such a dis¬ 
appointment this afternoon. My cousin, Sir 
Ato Saurus, sends to say he can’t possibly 
leave his den. Six of his ribs and his right 
hind leg can’t be found anywhere. Search 

243 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


high and low, where they will, those bones 
can’t be found. Isn't it a bother ? ” 

“ I’m extremely sorry to hear that,” said 
Clay ; “ I was in hopes that he was quite re¬ 
stored by this time.” 

“ It’s my belief,” said Lady Megalo, “that 

those learned London doctors don’t under- 

* 

stand his constitution. Quite restored! It’s 
impossible to say when the poor fellow will be 
able to move. He has begged and prayed 
those London people to attend to him, but 
they won’t ; the last thing they said was that 
they hadn’t made up their minds how many 
ribs he ought to have ! He answered, ‘ Give me 
a hind leg, and I’ll do without any more ribs. ’ ” 
Jenny noticed that every now and then as 
Lady Megalo talked she threw a side glance 
at her tail and moved it into a new curve, 
like a lady arranging her train. 

“ 1 don’t believe the London people know 
as much about us as they say they do,” said 
Clay. “You know Icky Ornis, the little fish¬ 
monger where I live ? Well, he declares he 
ought to have a tail, and they won’t give 
him one.” 


244 



J. ftS 


“SO KIND OF YOU TO COME ! ” 












affairs of the lower classes,” said Lady Megalo 
“ but when that poor flyman came to me the 

2 45 


A DINOSAUR'S PARTY 

“ I don’t trouble myself much about the 


LADY MEGALO ARRANGING HER TRAIN 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


other day and said they talked of taking away 
his wife’s eggs I really was indignant.” 

“ I didn’t hear about that.” 

“ It seems that somebody declares she never 
laid them. It would be all very well if some 
other creature claimed the eggs, but until it 
is proved they don’t belong to her I think 
she should be allowed to keep them.” 

“Certainly,” said Clay. 

Walter and Jenny listened with great interest. 
Lady Megalo smiled at them occasionally, but 
she evidently did not think them important 
enough to shake hands with. 

“Now, my dear Mr. O’Saur,” she said, after 
a pause, “ I must positively send you away to 
talk to my friends ; they’re all dying to see you : 
and I have promised them that you will sing 
for us presently.” 

She turned to greet an immense creature as 
“ My dear Don Iguano,” and Clay moved away, 
beckoning the children to follow him. 

“You mustn’t mind if Lady Megalo looks 

down on you,” he said. “ Being one of the 

biggest people about here, she is accustomed 

to be looked up to a great deal. And you 

246 


A DINOSAUR'S PARTY 


know people generally look down upon people 
who look up to them.” 

“We don’t mind,” laughed Walter. “But 
what a funny thing that was she said about her 
cousin ; he couldn’t go out because his ribs and 
leg were missing.” 

“It’s not funny at all,” said Clay; ‘ it’s very 
sad. The Dinosaurs are the oldest families, 
and Sir Ato Saurus belongs to one of the very 
oldest families of all. I can’t see anything 
funny in the decay of a noble family.” 

“ I’m very sorry,” said Walter; “of course I 
did not understand that that was meant; it is 
very sad.” 

“ Please, who is that creature over there with 
the great spikes on his shoulders?” asked Jenny. 

“ That is a very pleasant young Dinosaur 
named Skelly. By the way, I think I ought 
to mention that it is not usual to call people 
of our class ‘creatures.’ You wouldn’t call a 
Duke or an Earl a ‘creature,’ you know; and 
Dinosaurs don’t like it.” 

“ I must remember,” said Jenny demurely. 

“ Skelly belongs to an old family, like the 

rest of us,’ resumed Clay; “he’s a nice fellow, 

247 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


and I wouldn’t say a word against him ; but 
some people sneer at him and say he’s not 
genuine.’’ 

“ Why do they say he isn’t genuine ? ” asked 
Weaker. 

“ Because he is plated. The fact is, he’s 
smaller than most of us, and wouldn’t be safe 
unless he wore armour.” 

Skelly was small compared with most of the 
other Dinosaurs, not being much over eleven 
feet high ; but he was quite the most dan¬ 
gerous-looking of all. Besides the sharp spikes 
on his shoulders, his back was covered with 
bony plates studded with rows of sharp spines 
and knobs like the nails in a church-door. 

“ How d’e do, Skelly?’’ said Clay. “ Let me 
introduce two young friends of mine.” 

“ Pretty well, thanks. But, my dear Clay, 
where in this world did you find these little 
creatures ? ” Skelly dropped on his left fore¬ 
paw as he spoke, and stared hard at the 
children. 

“ I didn’t find them in this world at all: they 
don t belong to it, I believe.” 

“They are very nicely made,” said Skelly, 

248 


A DINOSAUR'S PARTY 


“more ornamental than usual, perhaps; but very 
well finished.” 

“ They’ve got all their bones about them,” 
said Clay with a sigh; “that’s more than most 
of us can say.’’ 

Walter couldn’t help smiling at this. Skelly 
instantly pointed at him and said— 

“ That one is not quite complete: he wants 
two of his teeth.” 

“ They were knocked out at football,” said 
Walter. 

Skelly gazed at him thoughtfully for a minute, 
and then, turning to Clay, asked what he had 
been doing lately. 

“ I had a fight with Horny Head this morning 
and beat him,” answered Clay, who seemed 
very proud of it. 

“ He wanted to fight me the other day,” 
remarked Skelly. “I simply turned my back 

h * >> 

ini. 

“ It’s a fine thing to be able to win by 
simply turning your back on your enemy,” 
said Clay enviously. 

“ But doesn’t it look as if you funked—I 
mean, were afraid?” asked Walter. 

2 49 




WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


Skelly turned round and showed his back. 

“Does that look as if it were afraid?” he 
inquired over his shoulder. “ I may be afraid 
in front sometimes,” he added, facing round 
again, “but never at the back.” 

“ I don’t quite understand,” said Walter. 

“Well, you have fought with a fellow bigger 
than yourself sometimes, perhaps ? ” 

“Yes, I have,” said Walter. “The very 
last term I was at school I fought Thomson 
minor and Jack Allen; they’re both bigger 
than I am. I licked Thomson minor, though.” 

“And weren’t you just a lee tie bit afraid?” 

“If I was, I took jolly good care not to 
show it.” 

“Of course: my own plan exactly. When 
I am afraid in front I turn my back, so that 
I shan’t show it.” 

“ But the other—Dinosaur must see you’re 
afraid if you turn your back,” persisted Walter. 

“No,” said Skelly. “If I trembled all over 
he would see, of course, but I only tremble in 
front, not at the back ; at least I may tremble 
under my armour, but it can’t be seen.” 

Walter saw it was no use arguing with him, 

250 



A DINOSAUR'S PARTY 


so he gave it up, and remarked that there 
were some very interesting-looking people at 
the party. 

“ There are one or two uncommonly foolish 
people,” said Skelly. “ Have they seen old 
Steggo ? ” he added to Clay. 

<£ No; we’ve only been here a very short 
time. Is he here?” 

“Over yonder,” said Skelly, pointing; “lets 
go and talk to him.” 

“Is Mr. Steggo a Dinosaur?” asked Jenny 
as they walked towards the animal Skelly had 
pointed out. 

“Yes; he is one of the wisest of us. There 
isn’t a Dinosaur alive with more wisdom 
than Steggo; you’d never think it to look at 
him.” 

“ Isn’t that often the way with really clever 
people?” Jenny asked, feeling that this was 
quite a grown-up question. 

“Not to show their brains? Yes, perhaps 
it is ; but few people hide their brains as well 
as Steggo does.” 

The Dinosaur to whom Clay now introduced 
them was in some ways the strangest - looking 

2 5 r 


WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


animal the children had seen yet. He was as big 
as Horny Head, and looked even larger because 
he had a habit of standing on his hind legs 
and tail and making himself look as tall as 
possible. His head was so small compared 
with his body that it looked as if it had been 
given him in mistake; and on his back he 
wore a row of great bony plates standing 
upright from his neck down to his tail, the 
end of which had pairs of ugly-looking spikes 
on it. 

When Clay said, “Good afternoon, Steggo ! ” 
he looked down sleepily, and sinking on his 
haunches held out his paw. 

“ I have been telling my young friends 
here,” continued Clay, “that you are the wisest 
Dinosaur alive; so of course they asked to 
be introduced.” 

Steggo smiled and looked at the children. 
They agreed afterwards that if they had not 
been told he was so clever they should have 
thought he was extremely stupid. 

“Yes,” he said, “I am wise, very wise; 
very, very wise indeed. Is there anything 
you want to know?” 

252 


A DINOSAUR'S PARTY 


There were a good many things both 
Walter and Jenny wanted to know, but 
neither of them could think what the things 
were at the moment ; that’s so often the way, 
you know. After a moment Walter said— 

“Could you tell me if father will send me 
to Eton next year?” 

Steggo shook his head very slowly, and smiled. 

“ I didn’t mean to tell you anything about 
yourselves,” he said. “ I meant about my- 
self. That’s what I’m so wise about; my own 
self.” He smiled again, and looked more 
stupid than ever. 

“Will you please tell us why you carry those 
great things on your back?” said Jenny. 

“ That’s an intelligent question ; and de¬ 
serves an intelligent answer,” said Steggo. 
“When I know why they’re on my back, I’ll 
let you know. I don’t know now; and I’m far 
too wise to try and explain.” 

“There!” said Clay, “take a note of that! 
It’s real wisdom, that is.” 

It was rather a disappointing sort of wisdom, 
the children thought; they stood in silence 
for a minute until Steggo threw out his paw 

2 53 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


at Walter and said, “ Why have you got such 
a big head ? ” 

“ I—I don’t know,” replied Walter. “ It 
isn’t a bit bigger than any other fellow’s.” 

“ It is,” said Steggo. “ I suppose, now, you 
keep your brains in it—at least all the brains 
you’ve got.’’ 

“ Everybody’s brains are in his head,” said 
Walter, thinking this Dinosaur might be wise, 
but was very disagreeable. 

“Now don’t you think,” said Steggo, fold¬ 
ing his arms, “that your head is the very 
worst place to keep them ? ” 

“ Why?” asked Jenny and Walter together. 

“Why! If a cocoanut, or a thunderbolt, 
or a flower-pot happens to fall, where would 
it hit you? On the head. If you,” to Walter, 
“ fight with another fellow, where does he 
try and hit you ? On the face—that is, the 
head. Can’t you see that your head is the 
very worst place to keep your brains ? ” 

“Where do you keep yours?” asked Walter, 
thinking, as he said after, that he “had him 
there.” 

“ I keep only a very few brains in my 

254 




A DINOSAUR'S PARTY 


head,” answered Steggo, “only the brains I 
want to look after my eyes and nose and ears 
and mouth. All the rest, ten times as much, 
1 keep in a safe place down in my body. That’s 
where my wisdom comes in.” 

At this moment there was a cry of “Clay! 
Clay!! Where’s Mr. Clay O’Saur?” 

“Here!” answered that Dinosaur, clear¬ 
ing his throat. “ Here I am ! Who wants 
} >> 

me r 

Half-a-dozen Dinosaurs of different shapes 
and sizes came hurrying up, saying, “ Lady 
Megalo says you promised to sing; and we 
won’t let you off on any account. It will be 
such a treat! ” 

Clay cleared his throat again, and said if 
they really wished to hear him sing, he should 
be delighted—if somebody would play his ac¬ 
companiment. 

“ There’s nobody here who could, I’m afraid,” 
said a lady Dinosaur. “But I do hope you 
won’t refuse for that reason.” 

“ If Miss Polly Canthus asks me to sing un¬ 
accompanied,” said Clay, with a bow, “ I can 
only consent.” 


255 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


All the Dinosaurs clapped their paws at 
this, and, under Lady Megalo’s directions, 
made a ring round Clay. 

‘‘I will sing you,” he said, “the Song of 
the Dinosaurs.” 

At which everybody cheered. 


THE SONG OF THE DINOSAURS 

“ When, through your window bars 
You scan the world of stars, 

You dream long dreams; 

Haply you do not know 
Tnat this old world below 
With marvel teems. 


Into past ages peep 
Where Extinct Monsters sleep 
Turned into stone. 

Dig, and the rock betrays 
Creatures of other Days 
Buried alone. 


Though Man has made Earth tell 
Secrets she kept so well 
From age to age, 

He has but gained a look 
In her great history book 
And seen a page.” 




FLY FOR YOUR LIVES ! ” 








A DINOSAUR'S PARTY 


He looked at Walter and Jenny as he sang, 
and they felt that he was singing at them ; but 
they had no time to say anything, for, the 
moment the clapping and cheering w T as over, 
Lady Megalo cried— 

“Tea, Tea, Tea! Where are those children? 
Walter! Jenny!” 

“Fly for your lives!” shrieked Clay. 
“She’ll eat you.” 

“ Tea! Tea !- 

• ••••• 

“ Is READY!” 

“That wasn’t Lady Megalo’s voice,” said 
Walter. “ It’s mother’s.” 

“Who’s did you think it was?” asked 
Jenny. 

“ Why, Lady Megalo’s, of course. Don’t be 
stupid, Jen ; you were at the party too.” 

“ Was I ?” 

“Of course you were: you came the whole 
journey with me.” 

Jenny could only tilt back her hat and stare 
at him. 

“I’ve been asleep till a minute ago,” she 

said. “Tell me about the journey as we go 

257 R 



WONDERS IN MONSTERLAND 


in to tea. There’s your golf-club under the 
tree. Come along! Mother’s calling again.” 

“It’s late,” said Walter. “There are the 
cows going home, and the shadows are quite 
long. Let’s run: I’ll tell you all about the 
journey at tea.” 

I happened to be in the drawing-room when 
Walter and Jenny came in through the French 
window from the garden. They asked me 
to have tea with them. So that was how I 
heard all about Walter’s journey and put it into 
this little book. 


THE END 


Printed by Bali.antyne, Hanson &> Co. 
Edinburgh <2^ London 
















































